1991 promo video for Sizzler reveals that the 90s were much, much worse than the 1970s

Nah, most likely they are an old divorced military couple. Marriage in the Navy rarely lasts.

For me its more the VCR scan lined early 90s, and the shitty low resolution digital images and video (Real Audio does video now!) of the late.

Oh FSM save me. The Real Networks HQ is just down the street from where I used to work. They’re still there in fact. I have no idea how they manage to linger on in this late hour of nobody giving a flying eff about musicmatch jukebox, rhapsody or their awful codecs.

2 Likes

I thought the same thing. That kiss around 2:48 was a bit too sensual for the context. I couldn’t tell if it was bad acting or some kind of mind fucking by the producers.

I don’t think that’s bad acting. It looks pretty intentional to me. I’m thinking the director wanted it to be “impactful”, bud didn’t get that multiple kisses makes it go from sweet to weird.

Although maybe they were just pressed for time, and missed the multiple shots in post, so that you get all the attempts.

In the days of low bandwidth, their codecs made video possible. I do not miss them but I’m glad they kickstarted motion and audio media online in a meaningful way. You still occasionally see pron packaged as real media files.

Also MMJB was not a Real Networks product as far as I know, plus it was just about the best free CD ripping tool for windows back in the day because it had CDDB support, encoding options and was totally free and easily gotten.

Huh, I mixed up MMJB with RealPlayer. My first PC came with both, and I remember one was completely useless, but the other was pretty great for CD ripping. I guess MMJB was the one that was great for ripping CDs.

Still though, RealAudio and RealVideo were on the heels of the original DivX :wink: 3.11 codec, and then the later XviD clone of the real (rimshot) DivX codec, and those were so much better than RealVideo.

Hm, as my memory serves the videos themselves weren’t so bad, but the proprietary player and its litigious asshole owners were. According to wikipedia it used a h263 container so I’m guessing our bad memories of ‘urgh its real media’ are half the crappy player and half the 120p vids we were watching as a result of dialup.

1 Like

The 70s

The 90s

No contest. Case closed.

That’s probably it. I got into codec testing a little while after there were some choices.

I spent a lot of time working on whether commercial DivX codecs were better than the opensource XviD codec.

If you’re willing to go and mark each scene by frame number, and note down how the cutting goes, you can make XviD outperform all versions of DivX up to about DivX 9, using the XviD codec’s dialog for specifying compression zones by frame.

That way if you have, say a live-action, full motion intro until frame 719, followed by 10 slides of opening credits on still images lasting 72 frames each, then you can create a zone for the intro at full quality, and a new zone for each slide at maybe 1% quality and so on, without ruining the psychovisual quality of the whole video.

DivX never allowed for manual hand-tweaking like that. At least not back in the day when DivX was an MPEG4 Part 2 codec. Now it’s just another H.264 codec, like the half dozen others, and they all perform pretty much the same, although I’m partial to the x264 implementation and have a few custom patches I build against to increase its performance on Anime. Playing with the quantizer matrix a bit.

2 Likes

I don’t think USN sailors were allowed shaggy Beatles haircuts, even in 1991.

I noticed he was glancing back over his shoulder before kissing his mistress, probably to make sure his wife hadn’t brought the kids for some family food.

I went to a Sizzler a couple of times in 1991 — supposedly the world’s largest, but who knows — and the buffet bars invariably looked like they’d been hit by tornadoes. It was always a fucking mess. The steaks were tiny and mostly fat. I never tried any seafood.

Going Sear: Sizzlertology and the Prison of Beef

Hold on, the jury is still out

70s

90s

It was a fast paced world in slow blurry motion.

Yes, I put one of my stockings over the camera lens, and tried to hang myself with the other one.

1 Like

QFT. I think that’s sig-worthy.

1 Like

Hillary Clinton Makes it Official: ‘I’m Running for Sizzler’

How can this represent the 90s? I always felt, deep in my heart, that culturally 1991 is somehow still squarely in 80s territory.

Exhibit 1: Everybody Dance Now, Billboard #1 in February 1991.

Exhibit 2: Teal. See the album cover above. Also, this 1991 Camaro.

I rest my case.