“That’s the bad news. The good news is.”
oh no, my passwords!
Frankly, I think this puts the OPM breach to shame.
First they hacked Sony, and I didn’t change my password because I don’t play games.
Then they hacked Adobe, and I didn’t change my password because I don’t draw pictures.
Then they hacked Ashley Madison, and I didn’t change my password because I’m not married.
Then they hacked Hello Kitty, and now I’m screwed.
How so? The OPM breach actually targeted people with positions in government, not 12 year old children.
I was being somewhat facetious, enjoy your day. Not that 12 year old children are worthless, mind you.
On the plus side, the 41st millennium is canonically set after something referred to as “The Dark Age of Technology”, so password breaches are one of the (very, very, very, few) things that a hapless resident of the Imperium of Man probably doesn’t need to worry about.
Though, perhaps, genestealer cults count as a particularly nasty flavor of identity theft.
I’m really tempted to reply “Exactly.”
In practice, of course, state employees are likely to be higher value targets, etc, etc; but in “this is what pervasive utterly shit security means for the hapless normal people just doing their normal people things” terms, that reply is not purely for snide quip value.
Yes, in an ideal world, one could also safely work for the government without getting 0wned in a giant and embarassing breach(and the government could avoid exposing its soft underbelly like that); but the more hapless and innocent the user, the greater the ‘wow, we’ve basically built systems that would be condemned as unfit for human habitation if there were code inspectors for software’ factor.
A lot of the OPM victims were also assorted federal clock-punchers entirely unrelated to ‘cyber’ anything, ‘security’ anything, Team Spook, or similar areas; but ‘Hello Kitty fangirls’ are a yet more unrelated and innocent userbase.
It’s obviously not this serious; but the ‘which breach is more serious?’ question is sort of like “is it more serious if a bomb wipes out a barracks or an apartment building?” If you want to talk military assets, obviously the barracks. If you want to talk 'what kind of society are we running where people can’t even do their boring daily lives without ending up in the line of fire?", it’s the apartment building. Some Hello Kitty fanbase is very, very, low relevance; but that also means ‘not even they are too irrevant to be worth attacking, which means that basically anyone is’.
Want to meet up at a key signing party? (When do we all stop being sarcastic?)
Everything security related is shit when it comes to most folks. It is true.
There was a time when the answer would have been an enthusiastic yes; but leaden hopelessness has a way of seeping into every facet of experience; and at this point I’m mostly still floating because I’m slightly less dense than water, not because continued striving to stay above water is either possible or justifiable.
Is that where all the keys go into a bowl and then we pull them out randomly?
Show me your RNG and I’ll show you mine.
mine is a webcam pointing at a catbox used by three cats.
So, mostly just some static crap?
I’ll show myself out…
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