âThatâs the bad news. The good news is.â
oh no, my passwords!
Frankly, I think this puts the OPM breach to shame.
First they hacked Sony, and I didnât change my password because I donât play games.
Then they hacked Adobe, and I didnât change my password because I donât draw pictures.
Then they hacked Ashley Madison, and I didnât change my password because Iâm not married.
Then they hacked Hello Kitty, and now Iâm screwed.
How so? The OPM breach actually targeted people with positions in government, not 12 year old children.
I was being somewhat facetious, enjoy your day. Not that 12 year old children are worthless, mind you.
On the plus side, the 41st millennium is canonically set after something referred to as âThe Dark Age of Technologyâ, so password breaches are one of the (very, very, very, few) things that a hapless resident of the Imperium of Man probably doesnât need to worry about.
Though, perhaps, genestealer cults count as a particularly nasty flavor of identity theft.
Iâm really tempted to reply âExactly.â
In practice, of course, state employees are likely to be higher value targets, etc, etc; but in âthis is what pervasive utterly shit security means for the hapless normal people just doing their normal people thingsâ terms, that reply is not purely for snide quip value.
Yes, in an ideal world, one could also safely work for the government without getting 0wned in a giant and embarassing breach(and the government could avoid exposing its soft underbelly like that); but the more hapless and innocent the user, the greater the âwow, weâve basically built systems that would be condemned as unfit for human habitation if there were code inspectors for softwareâ factor.
A lot of the OPM victims were also assorted federal clock-punchers entirely unrelated to âcyberâ anything, âsecurityâ anything, Team Spook, or similar areas; but âHello Kitty fangirlsâ are a yet more unrelated and innocent userbase.
Itâs obviously not this serious; but the âwhich breach is more serious?â question is sort of like âis it more serious if a bomb wipes out a barracks or an apartment building?â If you want to talk military assets, obviously the barracks. If you want to talk 'what kind of society are we running where people canât even do their boring daily lives without ending up in the line of fire?", itâs the apartment building. Some Hello Kitty fanbase is very, very, low relevance; but that also means ânot even they are too irrevant to be worth attacking, which means that basically anyone isâ.
Want to meet up at a key signing party? (When do we all stop being sarcastic?)
Fair enough!
Everything security related is shit when it comes to most folks. It is true.
There was a time when the answer would have been an enthusiastic yes; but leaden hopelessness has a way of seeping into every facet of experience; and at this point Iâm mostly still floating because Iâm slightly less dense than water, not because continued striving to stay above water is either possible or justifiable.
Is that where all the keys go into a bowl and then we pull them out randomly?
Show me your RNG and Iâll show you mine.
mine is a webcam pointing at a catbox used by three cats.
So, mostly just some static crap?
Iâll show myself outâŚ
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