Originally published at: 7 tips to outsmart cops when you get pulled over - Boing Boing
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Pro tip number one:
Be a White person. (Most preferably male and straight.)
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Oh no no no. Do not say it this way. The courts have taken this right to be one that you have to invoke explicitly and directly. Saying that you have the right is just a factual statement. You need to invoke the right. You need to say “I invoke my right to remain silent.” This is, by the way, what the attorney in the video says. This transcription is inaccurate.
This is true, and is what he said in the video, but he’s being generous to the police here. The truth is, roadside sobriety tests (the touch your nose, walk a straight line, etc.) are evaluated subjectively, and the officer can always spin it to provide the probable cause the courts require. This is why you should always decline these tests. If you agree to do it, you will almost certainly be getting arrested and charged with DUI, whether you were under the influence or not.
Another important point: all of these work great if, as @Melizmatic points out, you are white. That being said, if you aren’t white, you should still do this. It may not keep you from getting arrested, but it will make it harder for the state to convict you.
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My first thought on interacting with the police is always, “How do I get out of this without getting hurt or arrested?”
Outsmarting them is way down the list.
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I get this, but some of these are the best way to get out of the interaction without getting hurt or arrested. I think “outsmarting” is a poor word choice. It’s really just about knowing your rights. And the big one is that you are under no obligation to do their job for them. Don’t admit to anything, invoke your right to remain silent, and then actually remain silent. And also … don’t argue with them. Argue later, in court. I know some of this doesn’t make a damn bit of difference if you’re a POC and some asshole cop is looking for a reason to beat you or worse, but it’s still probably the safest option. Comply as best you can with lawful orders, and stay silent. It’s imperfect advice. ACAB.
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Also worth noting that this is true for USAian cop interactions. UK rules will be different!
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Being objective, most of this advice is sage enough, at least in theory.
In reality, a POC could model all these behaviors and preventative measures in perpetuity, and they will still be at high risk from highway LEOs.
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It’s important to note that there’s a difference between a field sobriety test and a roadside chemical test (aka: breathalyzer). Refusing to perform the standard sobriety tests (walk a straight line, stand on one foot, etc) will almost certainly ensure you’ll be requested to do a breathalyzer or blood test. These are mandatory in most places and refusing them can lead to automatic suspension of your license.
Refusing a Field Sobriety Test
Field sobriety tests are voluntary, and completion of the tests is not required under the law. If asked to complete a field sobriety test, a driver may politely decline to do so or may ask to speak with his or her attorney. While the driver will not face legal penalties for declining to participate, it is important to understand that this does not mean that the driver will simply be let go. In most instances, if a driver refuses a field sobriety test, he or she will be asked to undertake a chemical test to determine his or her blood alcohol level, such as a breathalyzer test or a blood test. The driver may even be taken to the police station or jail for a short period of time while these tests are conducted. Unlike field sobriety tests, refusing to perform a breathalyzer test or provide a blood sample can have very serious consequences.
Implied Consent
Although a driver may not be compelled to undertake a chemical test, refusal to do so can subject the driver to penalties. This is because most states have implied consent laws. Under implied consent laws, someone who drives in the state automatically consents to chemical tests upon being arrested for drunk driving or in certain other situations specified by state law.
Since a driver who refuses to complete a chemical test violates the implied consent arrangement, almost every state imposes a mandatory driver’s license suspension on the driver. This may vary in length from six months to a year. Additionally, in some states, such as New York, fines may also be imposed. If a driver who refuses a test is later found guilty of a DUI, the refusal can be considered by the court in determining whether to impose heightened punishment on the driver for the DUI.
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A former coworker taught me that strategy because “anything you say…” etc. etc. At most, say “I didn’t realize I was speeding.”
Although when I tried it, the officer was wise to it & acted like he couldn’t believe I wouldn’t have known. I stuck by my story tho (well, I didn’t realize i was speeding).
None of that 
is meant to avoid getting a ticket, though - it’s meant to make it easier if you go to court. (In my case, I didn’t; I lived in Austin & wasn’t going to drive back up to Ft Worth to handle it that way; did defensive driving instead)
The other thing the guy said to do was, on the day of the hearing/trial, never, ever speak to the prosecutor when it’s offered. Someone would come to the waiting room & ask whether anyone wanted to make a statement to the prosecutor. A lot of people did, apparently thinking they could make their case. Instead, whatever verbiage they’re offering up is making the prosecutor’s case.
And in hindsight I’m wondering how bad of a driver this guy was, that he went thru this enough times that he could offer advice…
(EDIT: spelping)
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That’s just not true. If they do roadside breathalyzers, that may happen. Tennessee state troopers apparently no longer use roadside breathalyzers. And blood tests aren’t performed roadside, so for that, they have to arrest you first. And to arrest you, they need probable cause. If you consent to field sobriety tests, you are gift wrapping probable cause for that officer.
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A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir?
I said: What for, officer?
He said: My chips are too hot.
T. Cooper
Seriously, don’t refuse a test in the UK, either drug or drink.
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Not important enough for the author of the FPP to note, so thanks to you for answering the question that came to mind when I read it.
Thanks also to @danimagoo for her clarification re: invoking one’s right. I hope people who read the FPP are also reading these comments.
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Tell them that you’re not driving, you’re traveling. /s
(Yeah no, the Sovereign Citizen defense never ends well.)
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It looks little reason for that decision is all about protecting bad cops.
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Refusing a sobriety test can also be interpreted as probable cause. Bottom line: if a cop wants to arrest you they’re gonna find a way.
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This judge was literally giddy with delight when a clown tried that one in his courtroom.
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I saw this one recently. It probably doesn’t work well without a note from your doctor.
As I don’t wish to fund the police, I don’t drive as fast as I used to.
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Trying point 4 (“I don’t consent”) might set off a cop’s SovCit detector.
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No, refusal to do the field sobriety tests (I’m not talking about chemical tests)cannot be used as probable cause to suspect intoxication. That would violate the 5th Amendment.
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This judge is so kind, he explains patiently and repeatedly advises the defendant to take a public lawyer.
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