A healthy 3-foot-long rabbit dies on United Airlines

Hasenpfeffer

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Every day, the same thing… variety. Cook!

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Some supporting evidence required.

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Rent a van, put in their favorite scratching post, a litter box, some cat beds, toys, food and water. Plan the trip and make reservations at only pet-friendly hotels.

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Well I KNOW it couldn’t have been this one:

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I don’t usually cook from recipes, but here goes:

Make stock

  1. Put a strip of bacon and some olive oil in a Dutch oven, and cook on stovetop.
  2. Cut rabbit into sections and coat liberally in salt and pepper, and brown both sides in the Dutch oven.
  3. Add carrots, celery, and onion to the pot and cook until softened.
  4. Add garlic
  5. Deglaze with red wine
  6. Add tomatoes, rosemary, thyme, and chicken stock

Cook rabbit
In oven on 500 Fahrenheit (260 Centigrade) for two hours

Make sauce

  1. Strain solids from stock. Also remove rabbit
  2. Add more chicken stock, heavy cream, and dry English mustard, and cook on stovetop on medium-high heat (15-30 minutes)
  3. Pick rabbit meat from bones, add rabbit meat back into sauce, and simmer over low heat (15-30 minutes)

I also added marscapone and cornmeal dumplings.

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That doesn’t look too complicated. I have everything but the rabbit. Not a difficult thing to find in my neck of the woods. But usually its at the back end of the meat section of the supermarket and frozen more solid than a Siberian mammoth.

The rabbit died by slamming its face on an armrest after refusing to leave the plane.

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Airlines seem much more friendly to cats and dogs than to small rodents. The logistics of flying guinea pigs across the country are pretty scary to me, there’s not really any good solution… A long flight is bad, a multi-day road trip of sneaking your pet into motels is not much better. There are animal freight services, but that’s a different world of research. Personally, I wouldn’t want to fly with my pet unless it was in the cabin. Sadly, the article doesn’t explain if United actually messed anything up or gave any real explanation of why the rabbit died. Speaking of exotics, there’s no way to fly with a snake in the cabin…

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They’ll figure it out…

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It’s a fairly standard cooking technique. Plus, after two hours in the oven plus some time on the stovetop, the meat is falling off the bone.

I go to a butcher shop for game meat. I doubt my local grocery sells any kind of game (even duck), and if they did, I wouldn’t trust it.

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I disagree. The lady holding the rabbit happens to be 12 feet tall, so…

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After having worked as a baggage handler for a major airline, I can tell you that I would never, under any circumstances, transport my pet in the cargo hold of a passenger jet. Incredibly loud on the tarmac, chance of heat stroke if plane is delayed for several hours, change of pressure can cause blood to come out of the ears, very high levels of stress.

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Yeah, it didn’t fully register with me at first that this was expected to be the largest individual rabbit of all time, and custom-bred for the purpose. I’m not sure you can ever say a beast like that is “healthy,” just “not in any obvious distress at the moment.”

(Although again, I’m not going to say I’ll be surprised if turns out that United just forgot to pressurize the cargo hold or something. That’s life in a near-monopoly.)

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Thank you for that. It’s difficult to get this sort of testimonial.

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Yes. It strikes me as at least mildly insane that a rabbit owner, let alone breeder, would even consider putting their animal in the hold. She says that she’s done it several times with no ill effects but I think she just got lucky.

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Damn, beat me to it.

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I bet the giant rabbit is just a hallucination, sent to distract us from the fact that United has been dropping jet engines on people.

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Just Kill Me…

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I’m sick and tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!

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