Cool. It’s actually really pretty easy to avoid. And TBH, I used to fall into a similar mode with my friends (both female and male), slipping into the Problem Solving role.
So, key tips I use:
If you want to offer a solution/explanation, prefacing it with something like, “you probably already know this, but just in case, I found this helpful in a similar situation,” is pretty fine.
If you find you’re wanting to share/spew your knowledge, take a breath and ask, “do you want to hear/are you open to suggestions, or do you just need to vent?” And react accordingly.
It’s really all about the framing. You can say basically the same thing or share the same knowledge, but in one way it comes across as ASSUMING the female in question didn’t already know that (which is frustrating, to say the least), and in the other way comes across as being a truly empathetic, sympathetic fellow traveler in life who sees them as a complete human with their own experiences and prior knowledge.
Oh, and PS, it might seem like a non-issue to some men-folk, but the fact that when we respond with, “yeah, I knew that,” we are often met with such indignant anger…it’s different than the lived experience of the menfolk experiencing the same interaction.
It’s fucking disappointing what a scumbag he’s turned out to be, isn’t it? I miss 1980s Johnny Depp. Where’s that guy? He could act, and I bet he wasn’t a totally misogynistic jack ass either.
I remember reading a study once that showed delivery room nurses speak to and physically handle girl and boy newborns differently. Girls get coos and gentle touches; boys get gruffer words and are handled more roughly.
This mom talks about how she has witnessed the same problem when her toddler is dressed in anything other than pink or a dress:
OMG…
The only thing I can say is “why?” This is at least sexual assault of a sort. But a pathetic and disgusting sort. Of course, over here we have idiots ejaculating into potted plants in front of women. So proud of my gender…
I don’t think the rage of South Korean men at that would be much less than that of North Korean men. In the US, I would expect murders as a response to this.
And the women to whom it happens are often told that they should just ignore it or laugh it off. (It was a common response to women joining various “manly” trades like mining, steel working, electrical work and so on.)
