Quick, while no one is paying attention!
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This looks a bit silly next to the above post, but justâŚthe lamest pink tax example yet. Câmon Amazon, you can do better.
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Cross posted in Attempted Coup
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Anti-abortion terrorism is the gift that keeps on giving⌠/s
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Canât âlikeâ that.
WTF.
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This is horrific. Thanks for passing it along. That second tweet was disturbing, too. Asking why the first gf escaped and calling her lucky? Just no. Iâm sure sheâs dealing with enough having been involved with someone like this, and the speculation from the detective that her ex had her on his mind while killing someone else isnât really helpful, either.
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I know not everyone cares for The Intercept even with Greenwald gone, but this article seemed worth postingâŚ
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Complaints about young women taking selfies with art.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CKl_8uIDYhN/?igshid=1adlmbi7kvgig
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The history of pockets and the pursuit of better ones for women:
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So not surprising, yet so sad to hear.
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Once upon a time in law school, a professor mentioned the statistic that 1 in 3 women are survivors of sexual assault or sexual abuse as a child. Over lunch the male students were incredulous, âthat canât be true!â One of the women said not only is it true, that statistic is almost certainly an undercount. Cue male blustering and ânone of the women I know were sexually assaulted!â We women looked at eachother and 4 out of 5 raised our hands, including me. The men shut up, stunned. I hope that moment is scarred into their brains forever. I was proud of each woman at the table.
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Iâm also proud that the men shut up instead of trying to convince you that it hadnât really been assault. Ugh.
I still remember the feel of our lecherous bartender groping me when I was 16 working at the family restaurant and when I told my father being told, âThatâs just Duane, haha.â It was constant.
So many women of my generation (and probably still) are brought up thinking this is just to be expected. Harmless fun.
I wish I could find a clip, but it reminds me of a scene from 30 Rock when Jack is getting sexually harassed by a female boss and he says something like, âItâs not fun or sexy, like when men do it to women.â
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I wish theyâd do more than acknowledge it and talk with other men more to stop it. People who make excuses for the behavior are a huge part of the problem. Unfortunately, we see women doing that, too.
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My wife works retail and occasionally shares stories of guys being wildly inappropriate, both verbally and physically. She shares them in a way that conveys that she thinks theyâre funny, if mildly annoying occurrences.
I am constantly torn between my anger that she is subjected to that, my desire to respect her when she says it really doesnât bother her, my anger over the fact that I expect it doesnât bother her because she has internalized some toxic shit about âboys being boys,â my recognition that my attempts to explain her internal reactions are mansplaining her feelings and inherently patriarchal in my desire to tell her her feelings are coming from a distorted place, my angry desire to thump these assholes, and my eventual recognition that Iâve completely turned this issue about her being mistreated into a thing about my own responses. Being a supportive man is hard, you guys!
While that last sentence is COMPLETELY sarcastic, I do struggle to know how to respond other than my current approach of listening and being sympathetic to her overall point that retail work is hard (and letting her know Iâll happily thump someone if she gives me the signal).
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From personal experience, I can say that having someone listen to me and get angry on my behalf when I didnât even feel like that was an option, that is priceless. When we get trained into acceptance from a young age, just having those blinders cast off is a big deal.
And like @PsiPhiGrrrl mentioned: if you see or hear such behavior from other men, shut that shit down. Please and thank you!
(Came back to edit typo)
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As a person who was drawn in by similar behavior, all I can suggest is mentioning or finding examples to share on the topic of grooming. Itâs not always ignored because of internalized messages of âboys being boys.â Sometimes, itâs the gradual method (like the boiling a frog analogy) where membership in a group is at risk for those who challenge it. When it comes to work, women face added pressures about being on the ins or outs with co-workers.
If the inappropriate stuff escalates and no one pushes back, some use that as tacit permission to behave even worse. Thatâs the danger - where some people think another person accepting crossing one boundary means theyâll accept crossing all of them. A predator might be quick to victim blame, too, by pointing out any earlier acceptance/tolerance as an indication that the victim canât be trusted. This is how the seeds of doubt are sown, and mistrust of women in general is why we have the messed up legal and societal views about sexual assault that have persisted for centuries.
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