Brilliant piece that answers a question I’ve long had about suitcases.
We couldn’t see the genius of the wheeled suitcase because it didn’t align with our prevailing views on masculinity. In hindsight, we find this bizarre. How could the predominant view on masculinity turn out to be more stubborn than the market’s desire to make money? How could the crude idea that men must carry heavy things prevent us from seeing the potential in a product that would come to transform an entire global industry? But is it really that surprising? The world is full of people who would rather die than let go of certain notions of masculinity.
Wow, that is some serious WTF creepy behavior on his part. And that he’s seriously asking “AITA” is quite alarming. Yes, Eddie, yes you are.
Also, example number 7,908 why I’m glad I don’t work in hospitality anymore.
I have to wonder how many AITA posters already know the answer to that question, or it’s just part of the attention-seeking behavior shown by some misogynists. After failing to get a stranger to behave in a way that meets with his own personal wants, he decides to take his money and crappy attitude elsewhere. That’s not enough, though. No, he wants validation from other creeps like himself, and to send a message to women about why he (and others) believe refusal to make every effort to be eye candy for him and his ilk is lazy and wrong.
And remember: when he posts to an /r thread, by definition he’s going to get both types of answers, yea and nay.
He’ll only ‘see’ the ones in his favor.
Early on in the genetic genealogy push, a bunch of us were flabbergasted at the number of members of Stormfront who would do DNA testing to prove they were 100% Aryan, only to find out they had either some small part African or Jewish. We’d explain to them what it meant, but they’d leave the forum in a huff and go back to Stormfront, where everyone would respond with supportive posts about how the science isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, and the proof is that OF COURSE they couldn’t possibly be that little bit of whatever that was listed. So it’s a double proof: that they’re right and any supposed factual basis for contradicting them is totally wrong. Win-win, from their point of view.
I just don’t know how people can tune out all but what they want to hear, but so many do.
Yeah, there’s a long history of using fake names and profiles in business. When systems are designed to discriminate based on gender, ethnicity, class, reproductive choices, etc. people find creative ways to fight them. While the practice below has different cultural roots, I wouldn’t be surprised if it has been used in many countries for meetings with lenders and clients:
And as a childless adult in a loving hetero relationship, I can attest that it’s not just “fathers” but the exquisitely “mental load” free status of other men. Is it the conditioning of males growing up? How do they escape having to think about this stuff?
It shocks me to think that dads wouldn’t also know the answers to these easily, but I’ve also grown up with the mindset that a man shouldn’t have any responsibilities except working and paying bills. I thought that mindset died out with my parents generation, but maybe not.
I was glad it was so easy. Mind you the doctor and dentist are <100m away and the optician is walking distance too.
Well I don’t actually remember the name of the dentist but it’s the same practice and I made their last appointments and brought them. Dentists are usually really chatty and like meeting people and they’re always up for a chat. Like butchers. I guess it’s the good part of the job. Seriously, I enjoy the chat at all shops but butchers are really the best. But the intro part is a bit sketchy and I am not great with names.
I also have the great good fortune to take extra unpaid leave in the summer. Childcare is so expensive it didn’t really make much difference apart from our lives were made so much better by it. I don’t really understand men who would not be invested in our children with our time, love, and commitment. And looking after your kids for the summer if you can is such an unbelievable privilege. We couldn’t afford to send them to stuff because of it, but the odd time we did they hated it in comparison anyway.
Both of my brothers were the at home parent when their kids were small-it made more sense financially and scheduling wise for them.
And people still thought they were extra special because they just did stuff like cook dinner and change diapers and deal with the dishes.
I was curious about this, because many men do live on their own before living with a partner. They’ve been in charge of laundry before.
So I searched for information about how this works in same-sex couples. Reports are that same-sex couples are more equitable in sharing of chores. That said, the role of “manager” still seems to fall on someone:
One line that stuck out to me was
I started thinking about the same-sex couple friends I know and with all of them, if I want to hang out, I know who to contact for scheduling—I just do
(2017 article in Bazaar)
The author of the article, a woman, has always found herself in the manager role in her relationships with other women, and it sounds like it leads to the same kinds of arguments that heterosexual couples have.
So I don’t think this is really about men being raised to be oblivious. It think it’s about the work of family/home manager defaulting to women, and about a tendency to discount and ignore that work (while in the office we pay managers more than the people they manage, mostly).
