I think it’s both, simultaneously.
I also think (based on my experience) that there’s a lot due to different levels of expectations. Like, it took me years to stop cleaning up all the time and just recognize that my mate’s standards were set at a different level, and if I didn’t figure out a compromise I’d be perpetually cleaning up (and likely grow resentful, given my “fair-minded” mindset).
I read a good book about this a few years ago, but can’t remember the title. The author was a Black hetero woman, a successful fundraiser for non-profits. The book was about a lot of things, but also about figuring out a working balance with her mate about the whole household management thing. A big part was about being able to let go and say, “okay, if they say they got this, I’m going to trust that, even though looking at the growing pile of mail (one example) makes me want to take over.” Grrr, I wish I could remember the title, it was a really good read.
It’s fucking named after their own CAPITAL!!! Ugh, Erdogan… What a dick.
“We’re not trying to be anti-women, we’re trying to be anti-gay” is also one hell of an excuse. Great, so we should hate you for this twice, right? Damn fascists.
The Constantinople Convention sounds better anyway, just saying.
If it pops into your head, please post. My partner and I have that different expectations thing big time. Our children then take it to another level. I think you are right, it is a common source of friction.
I’ve been wracking my brain and searching online and just can’t find it. I’ll ask for my lending history next time I’m at the library.
One exercise I remember the author did that was really eye-opening was she and her husband made a list of all the roles/duties they each regularly took on, in terms of management. She did the meal planning and prep and he would make travel arrangements. She originally wrote something like, “buys plane tickets” for what he did and he laughed and noted that he did all the research, managed their various points programs for ideal outcomes and such, so it got upgraded to something more like, “travel coordinator.”
After making the whole list, the husband recognized that he could pick up some of the load to make it more equitable. That’s where the whole “letting go” of her self-named “household control disorder” became really important and in some ways freeing (and humbling) for the author.
If I find the title I’ll let you know.
Scientists have known about the different categories of endometriosis for a decade, but they have only received funding for further research in the past five years. And it is only recently that endometriosis has been taken more seriously: Historically, many doctors have not believed patients who report their pain, despite nearly 40 percent of people with endometriosis reporting pain so severe it has resulted in an emergency room visit, according to a 2020 U.K. study. Vice reports that it typically takes women 10 to 12 years to even get a diagnosis because they’re “more likely to have their pain reports discounted as ‘emotional’ or psychogenic’ and, therefore, ‘not real.’”
Ugh, why do these groups always wrap themselves in the flag and co-opt themes of legitimate causes? On top of criminal tactics, the level of ignorance they display and spread is stunning.
Probably the least shocking thing in the article was the involvement of these assholes in 1/6. It’s all one piece.
That lady is half arm!
And it seems to be an ad promoting NFTs; thanks, I hate everything about it.
Points about what women experience while attempting to get healthcare, too:
I’m putting this here, too… because obviously…
I’m trying to figure out how you’d do that, and as far as I can tell, even if you had absolutely huge breasts, it would take some effort and contortion to get your breast caught in a door…
Which is why we know it was written by a man who has no real understand of how women’s bodies work and is only thinking about women’s bodies as objects…