Adam and Eve were aliens, soul transplants, and an exploding squirrel in this week’s dubious tabloids


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Disappointed that the squirrel didn’t explode after eating the alien Apple from Space Adam & Eve’s Space Tree.

Further, I am copyrighting Alien:Indigestion.


Now that is quality tabloid story material.


Just don’t let the studio go for the cash grab sequel, Alien: Evacuation.

(yes siree, high humor, that’s me folks)


God Didn’t Make Adam and Steve…is the ‘gotcha’ from the Religious right against gay rights.

Well…God’s Original Plan…His first draft, was Adam, just Adam and Him.
Adam would take care of the Pets, tend the Garden. While God was out doing his God stuff Adam was to wait at home for His return.
Adam was to Obey his Master’s every word without question and wasn’t allowed to wear clothing.
Eve was an afterthought and things spiraled out of control when she showed up.


Squirrel Girl is gonna be pissed.


So before the Garden, he was just a twink in God’s eye, right?


Well, the least said about Australian “squirrels”, the better.


I’ve seen the exploded (at least partially) squirrel thing but it involved a power line carrying a few thousand volts and a misplaced squirrel foot rather than a surfeit of nuts.


Is it as deadly as it is cute?
My mistake, its Australian, obviously its fucking lethal.


Did they ever find it’s nuts?



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