After boasting about running his company from prison, Martin Shkreli gets solitary confinement

#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/04/02/shkrelifreude.html

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#2

Is there some reason why they can’t just install Cell Phone jammers in prisons? That would seem to be the better solution, rather than putting people into torture boxes.

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#3

While I’m opposed to torture, and therefore solitary confinement, for anyone on principle, I won’t shed any tears for Shkreli.

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#4

I can see how solitary confinement is torture, but then again, having Shkreli as a cellmate or in a neighboring cell would also constitute torture.

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#5

Aw come on, what’s more satisfying? Solving the problem? Or creating more suffering?

(This one weird trick reveals which political party you belong to!)

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#6

How the heck do they get cell phones in prison anyway? And even if you snuck one in you have to charge it… are prison officials in on this?

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#7

Couldn’t happen to a nicer person!

… wait, it happens to nicer people all the time?
Shit.

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#8

He’s not even attempting to reform, is he?
What a nutsack.

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#9

Anyone with access to prison workshops (including laundry, kitchen, even libraries or infirmaries etc.) could discreetly charge either phones or battery packs.

But, yeah, it seems not out of the question that you can dangle Shkreli-level small change at a prison guard to get them to look elsewhere.

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#10

I’m sure that from the nutsack’s point of view, there’s nothing to “reform.”

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#11

As a parent, this really resonates with me. You round up all the devices in the house, all the chargers in the house, lock them in a Faraday Cage, and they’re still on effing Youtube. HOW??

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#12

Solitary confinement is torture unless you are into meditation and pay a lot of money for the experience.

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#13

How the heck do they get cell phones in prison anyway?

From this very website:

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#14

In nature’s wallet: the butt.

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#15

Of course they’re in on it. Not all of them, and not necessarily above the guard level, but they’re in on it. Guards aren’t exactly well paid, and allowing smuggling likely both supplements their income and makes their lives easier.

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#16

Once again, Shkreli has exactly himself to blame, for going out of his way to be an obnoxious asshole.

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#17

I suspect that there are a great many people in prison (or in fact on public transit etc.) who are pretty rotten to be stuck close to for extended periods.

#18

image

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#19

The short answer to your question (how do they get cell phones in prison) and another one (why not just jam everything) are basically the same. Guards could create a cell-phone-free environment, but it’s not worth it to them to do so across the board.

Shkreli is breaking the unwritten rule about using his phone for innocuous purposes, so he’s getting slapped down. The next inmate over is using it to keep his sanity while he waits six months for the next time his kids can afford to take a bus halfway across the country to see him. Given a choice between that inmate getting a few furtive texts off, and that inmate becoming violent and unruly—and factoring in the effort and danger involved in provoking inmates with relatively little to lose and infinite time to find subtle ways to retaliate—guards will look the other way when they can. Same thing with every other form of contraband imaginable.

Everyone should read this article anyway, but it’s also relevant to your question.

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#20

Pretty sure the rules he’s been breaking actually are written down somewhere.

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