Martin Shkreli is going to jail for putting a bounty on Hillary Clinton's hair


Originally published at:


Does he get that bail money back?


I feel like this is good news.


Bye Felicia


Normally, the loser of a presidential race does not retain Secret Service protection, but unfortunately for Martin, he had to go after an exception to that rule. And unlike most LE Agencies, the Secret Service actually cares about things like this.

Seriously, you dumb fuck, what did you think was going to happen? It doesn’t matter how unpopular she is, the Secret Service does not play.



What the fuck?

His greed is an almost understandable kind of depravity. This is stalker shit.


While the loser of a presidential race may not rank SS protection, the family of a former president probably does


I’m getting a lot of use out of this one today:

Fucking idiot.


It’s like he’s actively trying to make himself look even worse in the public eye than he already does.


I’m guessing he’s attempting to get a Trump pardon, and possibly a.position as the head of the NIH.


I’m not a lawyer (maybe there are lawyers here who can clarify) but I was curious too-- it seems in NY you can file a bail remission motion with the court and they’ll decide whether to return it or not, minus court fees.


I hereby propose the Martin Shrekli Law whereby one is automatically sentenced to maximum security prison for actually being Martin Shrekli.


The greed is the horse. The stalking is the cart.

Not all greedy people stalk, but all stalkers are greedy.


And we all know what kind of loser deserves very little protection.


Look on the positive side, Marty. Someone’s going to corner the ibuprofen market at the prison commissary!


From the NY Post:

"Pharma Bro jailed after judge declares him a ‘danger to society’

Despite a groveling letter from the 34-year-old claiming the social media status was an “awkward attempt at humor or satire,” Brooklyn federal court judge Kiyo Matsumoto revoked his $5 million bond and ordered him thrown behind bars.

But the judge wasn’t buying it, and ordered the marshals to take him into custody.

In the hours after jurors returned the mixed verdict, he announced on a Facebook livestream that prison–which he called “Club Fed”–wouldn’t be that bad.

“I’ll play basketball and tennis and Xbox,” he mused.

Shkreli will now languish in “Club Fed” for an untold period of time, as a sentencing date has yet to be set.

”F— the government,” Shkreli wrote on Facebook after prosecutors filed a motion asking the judge to revoke his hefty bond. “I will never kiss their ring or snitch. Come at me with your hardest because I haven’t seen anything impressive yet.”"

Oh kiddo- you’re not going to Club Fed - and there is no key to an executive washroom.


Once he gets his prison sentence hopefully the judge will laugh like a loon and say "And now I going to increase your sentence by 750% just because I can. "I know it delirious to dream about happy shit like this but fuck it, I’m old and demented and I can whatever so I will.


That may be his intent, who knows, but Trump wouldn’t give this guy the time of day. He’s never been “successful” (rich) enough for long enough to impress Trump. He’d laugh in his face and call him a loser. Now, if Shkrelli had gotten away with his fraud and deception…different story.


And just when he found his perfect match.

WTF is wrong with people?


I’ve been seeing that story drifting around in my feed for a couple days now; I’d wondered that it hadn’t hit the BBS yet…