After winning poker tournament, gentleman caught flushing fake poker chips down toilet


#1

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#2

Poor guy. Threw all his chips into the pot, then lost with a weak flush.


#3

43 years old and he doesn’t know how toilets work?


#4

Something to do with magnets, right?


#5

Yes, toilets are not magic portals that can get rid of anything you throw in there.

Except for drugs. Works great with drugs.


#6

something something deuces vs flush


#7

In the guy’s defense, it may have a been a no-limit pot.


#8

It’s funny when it happens in the movies. I just… feel kind of bad for this guy. Even though he brought it upon himself in every conceivable way. I wonder if his whole life has been a comedic series of faulty schemes ending in clogged plumbing…

Someone should, um… chip in to help him.


#9

It’s actually a somewhat clever* idea to launder counterfeit chips into real ones. Presumably the chips get higher scrutiny at the cashier than at the table. So as long as no one notices you keep playing, even though you usually lose, you can keep pumping fake chips in a then walk out with a few real ones. Even more so if you’re actually decent at poker. Plus he was smart enough to stay in a different hotel, so it’s surprising he was dumb enough to think flushing more than a couple would go unnoticed.

*in an abstract sense. not condoning cheating!


#10

I tried to think of something with deuces too, but crapped out.


#11

stemming from a bootleg DVD case where he made over $1 million.

Wait, what?


#12

Clearly that plumbing system was designed for craps rather than poker.


#13

$9,455 for clogging the plumbing.

I very much doubt that it costs that much to fix without padding it out.


#14

Most is probably the clean-up… Since it caused the pipes to leak into other rooms, I imagine that the cost to cleanup sewage water leaks is not cheap.


#15

Yeah it’s not an American prison so they can’t just leave it.


#16

Came for the puns. Not disappointed.


#17

He downloaded all seven “Saw” movies … hence the $1 million profit.

edit: MPAA math, $150,000 per movie.
edit2: just kidding, I have no idea.


#18

I actually folded on a flush one time at my friend’s house during our monthly hold 'em game… OK, I had been drinking…


#19

Well . . . true story. In the early 80’s I was busted when my first-day-on-the-job border agent found a small quantity of marijuana that I had hidden in the body of my Toyota station wagon when returning to the US from a camping trip in British Columbia.

They also found a ridiculous homemade pipe made from Schedule 80 stainless steel pipe and tubing (long story, but I was working my way thorough college as a pipe fitter). I was escorted to the bathroom of a portable building and told to hit it multiple times with a hammer and then flush it down the toilet. It was unblemished by the hammer blows, and way too big to even make it all the way to the bottom of the bowl, let alone get past the toilet and into the drain.

The agents and I both knew that this was a ludicrous act, but for some reason they still made me go through with it for the presumed theatrical value. I managed to get off with just a misdemeanor fine for importation of an illegal substance (they threatened to turn me over to Port Angeles cops, for whom it was a felony). Some federal agent, though, had to reach in and grab the pipe, then properly dispose of it after I was on my way. It seemed surreal at the time, and has not made any more sense to me in the decades since, but it is too stupid for me to have bothered making it up.

Of course, twenty something years later, they created the TSA, and now stupid has a new poster child.


#20

I know! That part totally caught my attention.