There is another aspect to this, which has nothing to do with whether or not he was a Nazi.
And this really, really is a thing for another Topic, but not having one, I’ll make it here.
Did he do reprehensible things: yes. Did he also save lives which he didn’t have to? yes. If he had made a stand and been fired or expelled or taken out the back and shot, would he have been able to help anyone? No. Did he make choices? Yes. Are there people who lived because of those choices? Yes. Are there people who died because of those choices? Yes. Would those people have died anyway? Also yes. Does that mitigate his guilt for making those choices? No.
Here’s where it gets me, personally: I’m autistic. I was diagnosed as an adult, so my life up to that point was of unexplained wasted potential. I’m smart, so why don’t I have a university degree? Why did I get into a selective entry high school, and then only barely pass Year 12?
When I started wondering what this “autism” thing was, I started seeing that autists are presented as one of two things: a tragedy or a joke. And if I continued in seeking a diagnosis, what did that make me? Or did it make me even worse: the sort of person who would make up a thing and claim to have it but not, and just be that canonical pathetic neckbeard being a horrible person and claiming “I can’t help it I have a condition!”.
And then the doctor sat me down and said “You have Asperger’s Syndrome.” Four words, and my heart exploded. There was a reason for it all. It all made sense now, and I was validated. It’s not just me, and I’m not an essentially bad person. There are other people like me, and if we know what’s getting in our way, we can figure out ways around them. For the first time in my life I didn’t feel like an inherent failure.
A lifetime of feeling like an inherent failure doesn’t just go away. That shit scars you. And the more I dove into the world to which I suddenly discovered I had belonged all along, I read of autists and how we had things taken away from us. We don’t get to have dignity. We’re Sheldon Cooper, or we’re the boogeyman Autism Speaks talks about. We don’t get to have autonomy. Autists get institutionalised for their own good. Autists get ABA, where they’re trained to look “normal”. Autists have to hide their traits: Autists are taught to not stim, not to flap, to neither stare nor avoid eye contact, to say the words even if you don’t know why.
And deeper than that, the concept of the Absent Minded Professor is an autistic stereotype. But there is no place in the modern, managerial, University for that. Autists made Universities, but it was taken away from us. People in the general vicinity of autism build the internet, and then it was systematically taken away from us.
DSM 5 comes in, and we Aspies get subsumed into Autism Spectrum Disorder. And that’s a jar, but we mostly get over it, because it makes the most sense. And we can still claim Asperger’s as a subtype of it. We still have this word for ourselves.
And then someone comes in and tells us “oh, also, he was a child-murdering Nazi the whole time. A Nazi is responsible for the diagnosis which gave you your sense of self back.” And so our very identity was taken away.
I don’t know you know — I don’t know that I know really — how traumatic that was. This isn’t like reclaiming “queer”. This is other people telling us that we’re not allowed to use this word for ourselves.
Was Hans Asperger a full blown Nazi? I don’t know. Was he “just” an opportunist who didn’t make enough protest when his Jewish friends and colleagues were fired and he was told to send the disabled children under his care away to be exterminated? On the evidence, at the least.
Do I want him to have been those things? No. And it’s for an entirely irrational and unreasonable reason: because an accusation on him feels like an accusation on me. It feels like an attack on who I am, that what he did reflects on me. That I’m responsible for what he did because he gave his name to the condition that I have and that was the word the Doctor said in his office in 2010.
And not least because whenever I turn around, someone brings up “Oh, you know Asperger was a Nazi, right.” and I get punched in the goddamn gut all over again because I wasn’t even talking about him thanks for bringing all that up again YOU’RE HELPING.