An Outline of Psycho-Analysis

Hmm…
Oh Yes!

Thanks Doc, you gave me an idea there.

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Dude #1: How many cattle did you just buy?

Dude #2: More than I usually would have.

Dude #1: Why is that?

Dude #2: They were off-brand.

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Such a pita that it makes you falafel?

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Not perfect, but samosa could do.

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Tzatziki for you to say.

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I saw someone faint onto the luggage carousel at the airport.

Don’t worry, though. They came around slowly

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I only know 25 letters of the English alphabet.

I don’t know why…

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I sold my vacuum cleaner last week. It was just collecting dust.

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TheCurePlacebo

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I’ve read every one of Steven Kings books.

The hardest part was sneaking into his house.

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Let me guess, you did it by disguising yourself as a clown, an animate car, a rabid dog…

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Man, you left out The Walkin’ Dude! The bestest of them all!

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Fred Armisen Laughing GIF by IFC

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There are a lot of jokes, but how can you tell if it’s a “dad joke?”

It’s a parent.

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What’s the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?

Condoms.

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Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the “p” is silent.

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This is a bit exaggerated… but just a bit.

Seriously, we have a lot of gloomy Christmas songs!

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