You can pry my tomatoes, Stilton, and raspberry jam from my fleshy, ulcerated, cold hands.
(Damn, that got dark fast)
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I thought for a moment you were replying to a Mr. Stilton.
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Iâll check when I get home, I am (quite unexpectedly) in Chicago all week. Donât know offhand.
Wait, what? Like, where?
Iâm at the big Microsoft shindig at the convention center on the lake, near south side. Which is kind of weird & out of character, but it was free and Iâve always wanted to visit the Field MuseumâŚ
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Youâre going to want to hit the Museum of Science and Industry too. There are bus shuttles that run between the major museums. And honestly, Millennium Park really is wonderful to walk through when itâs nice out. Navy Pier is a tourist trap, though, so avoid that if you can.
Itâs a crazy week for me, culminating in a birthday slumber party on Friday night, so I canât offer to take you to Chinatown for lunch or anything, but if youâre staying in one of the McCormick Place hotels youâre within walking distance of Chinatown, a lot of great Museum Park area restaurants (south of Roosevelt, west of Lake Shore Drive) and of course the el, which will take you anywhere in the city and even to a couple of suburbs.
And did you know you can rent a bike to enjoy the entire lakefront?
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Field Museum was excellent, walked back along lakefront and did nearly^H^H^H^H^H^H no breaking and entering at all to get back into convention center, must meet colleagues now and pretend Iâve been hobnobbing with microsofties all day, more laterâŚ
OK, itâs later. Iâm sorry we couldnât do Chinese, but it was a nice thought. I like Chinese. In theory I am scuttling about feverishly here doing computer things (and actually I did do a good deed, turns out Microsoftâs Jeff Snover is righteous) and have no time for funs! Heading back to Delaware on Friday, but I will certainly remember Chicago fondly. Which is also weird, because I am not a city person.
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This isnât really ancient, but it is the first professionally set if loaves Iâve baked.
Two cheese loaves, two caraway.
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Yummmmmmmmm.
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The starch conversion was lackluster. Also the humidity in the commercial kitchen was 80+%, and I am used to 40% ish. So it added 1.5 more pounds of flour to the recipe.
Commercial convection ovens fucking rule though. They stare you in the face and say, âYOU WANT 455F!? OH, YOU WILL GGEETT 455F!â
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Birka Bread, courtesy of the Field Museum Viking Zhibit, earlier today:
2/3 cup (~150 g) barley flour
3 tbsp (~50 g) wholemeal flour
2 tsp crushed flax seeds
1/2 cup (~100 ml) water
2 tsp lard (or butter)
1 pinch salt
Work ingredients together & knead
If too wet or hard, add flour or water
Let rest cold AT LEAST one hour, prwferably longer
Shape into flat cakes 1/4" (1/2 cm) or so thick
Bake on dry cast iron on the stove, medium heat, a few minutes each side,
or in oven at 300°F (150c) 10-13 minutes
Based on analysis of Viking Age* bread found at Birka, and not necessarily on palatability or common sense.
If this doesnât work donât blame the wonderful museum peoples, blame these Guatemalans and Mexicans plying me with beer and tequila for the last 3 or 4 hours!
* the Viking Age lasted, arguably, from 793 to 1066. Unless youâre British, in which case inarguably Lindisfarne to Stamford Bridge.
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Looking at that bread is killing me. Give me a bucket of hummus, Iâm eating all these loavesâŚ
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The crushed flax seeds would act like beaten egg in the dough. As for rest âcoldââŚdoes that mean room temperature, or actually put in a refrigerator? Which I assume they didnât have at the time.
This is basically a type of pancake recipe. Much easier to make on the go than baking an actual loaf in an oven.
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Come on. Coooome on. You and I both know it isnât lard or butter.
Its lard. 
And so many points I could touch on from your post, and so many Twain esque tall tales I could tell.
Lindisfarne is proof of indigenous assholes.
300f is close to the worst possible temp for anything.
I have made barley flour before and need to do it again. I wouldnât say it is âgoodâ, but its damn interesting.
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Yeah, and given the proportions and size, when it goes stale in 45 minutes it doesnât matter. You dip it in some salty broth and it is wonderfully edible again. I doubt it is as durable as say hard tack, but seems reminiscent (in the opposite sense of the word, I guess?)
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Okay, I have no reason to post this other than I am a bread nerd and I love this book.
This is a description of a sausage roll. A Fecking sausage roll.
My favorite bit is, âsausage in brioche is always served as a hot first course, usually the midday meal. No vegetable, salad or other accompaniment is ever served with it.â
(Puts on ironically classist tweed hat) well the knackers and geordies are sure gettin that one right.
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Birkaâs north of Stockholm, Iâm pretty sure, so theyâd prolly have refrigeration before the Viking era. Ice cut in winter and stored underground in sawdust or shoe-hay would last most of the summer.
@japhroaig, Iâve been thinking about it off and on, and I seem to recall pretzels come from German or Austrian monasteries and would have originally been shaped as crucifixesâŚ
Wifi here inutterably bad, plus more beer than strixtly advisable in me, so take all of above with several pinches of salt, lard, & crushed flax seed!
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Oh FSM, you gave me an idea.
Bear with me here.
Take two 14" long âwormsâ of dough, twirl twice at the base, make the arms of the crucifix as two open circles, and seal the top to makes a cross.
Another complete and utter tangentâi have zero narrative for this thread other than old foodâwho hasnât wanted to build one of these?
I checked the local zoning regulations and building an authentic smoke house would⌠Be in compliance, but break the spirit of every single statute. But I still covets one.
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Picture time!!
Pate en croute
Hedgehog loaf (bread)
Hedgehog loaf (basically meat loaf)
I have no idea what they used there, but the tradition is sliced apples.
Lamprey pie
Syllabub
Making a syllabub
Dang it, no real pictures. You pour cream into a pot of cider, then add air with a bellows. And you pour from ~12 feet while standing on a ladder.
London beer flood
Beer used to be brewed in 500,000 gallon wooden tanks. Sometimes they failed.
Almost all beers until ~1840 were blended with older, sour vintages and younger less intense vintages. This process is know as âbringing forwardâ a beer.
Another common practice in virtually every European country was to add a sweetener, such as woodruff or raspberry to their glass of beer. Today this is only really seen with Berlinerweisses and Goses.
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