“creamy white dairy product, which smells like a strong cheese.”
It will be worth more if it has the image of Jesus carved by the hand of bog.
And Amazon sells it at just $70 for an artisanal one-ounce jar! Click here!
If your next Fantasy RPG session doesn’t feature arcane bog butter as a treasure item you’re just not trying.
So how does it taste? Hopefully better than the 2200 year old wine that Jacques Cousteau and crew found, or for that matter the more than a century old Alexander Keith’s brew found by a diver.
Obviously as an offering to placate the Ravenous Bogbutter Beast of Tralee.
I found a 2000 year old review of “bog butter” on Ole’ Yelp. Apparently it gives you the wind something fierce, as though the banshee has taken up residence in your bowels.
Our artisinal, shade aged, fen butter is all organic. Lovingly wrapped in vellum it has developed earthy notes and a hint of apricot. The perfect toast, 2000 years in the making.
Let’s not fail to mention rich nobles eating the mummified schlongs off Egyptian mummies.
“schlong” is German/Yiddish for snake.
I yield to the master.
Yield nothing. You were my inspiration.
Part of me thinks I should say we should fail to mention it but the overwhelming majority WANTS TO KNOW MORE.
[Pauses. Considers. Reluctantly likes with a grudging respect for hard work.]
Need to pair it with the Battle Bread of B’hrian Bloodaxe from Discworld.
Dwarf scholars had, with delicacy and care and the blunting of fifteen saw blades, removed a tiny slice of it. Miraculously, it had turned out still to be as inedible now as the day it was baked.
New favorite insult: you giant, 2,000-year-old hunk of bog butter!
Finds like this are the only good thing coming out of wholesale peat bog destruction. Seriously, don’t buy peat and don’t support the industry. Those bogs cannot be replaced and are a huge benefit to us all.