We can start by seeing rape as it is. We must stop falling prey to the myth of stranger rape, because women are three times more likely to be raped by someone they know than a stranger, and nine times more likely to be raped in their home, the home of someone they know, or anywhere else than being raped on the street, making what is commonly referred to as “date rape” by far the most prevalent type of rape. Stop the pervasive insistence that false reports are common, although they are less common (1.6%) than false reports of auto theft (2.6%). Rape culture is pervasive claims that women make rape accusations willy-nilly, when 61% of rapes remain unreported.
We must stop spreading the myth that only certain people rape—and only certain people get raped. Rapists target people who are strong and people who are weak, people who are smart and people who are dumb, people who fight back and people who submit just to get it over with, people who are sluts and people who are prudes, people who rich and people who are poor, people who are tall and people who are short, people who are fat and people who are thin, people who are blind and people who are sighted, people who are deaf and people who can hear, people of every race and shape and size and ability and circumstance.
We have to acknowledge that the only thing that the victim of every rapist shares in common is bad fucking luck. We must acknowledge that the only thing a person can do to avoid being raped is never be in the same room as a rapist. We have to start talking about what an absurdly unreasonable expectation that is, since rapists don’t announce themselves or wear signs or glow purple.
We have to teach our children about meaningful consent, and that being a bystander is a problem, and that they should never be ashamed by what someone else did to them, and that reports must be taken seriously.
That’s the advice I’d give.
