Apple will soon begin producing its own movie and TV video programming


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And then you will never have to leave your cocoon of Loving Appleness.


So here’s my pitch to Apple: “First World Problems” A group of plucky hipsters have to figure whose iPhone to use to call an Uber and get uptown.


You need a villain in this plot. I’m thinking a poor, dirty anarchist Android user who gives them too many choices! ::gasp::


Who is reading their Minds with evil Google dark arts.


That’s called predictive marketing, you insensitive clod.


Yet another “network” brand I’ll start seeing in my torrent feeds…


laugh all you want, monkey boys… but they have almost no choice but to do this. they seem to be having problems negotiating terms for the apple version of the post-cable TV world, so if you can’t join 'em, beat 'em. it’s a decent hedge.


It’ll be aimed at the lowest common denominator while being overproduced, overpriced and ridiculously pretentious


I was thinking what would be the most “Apple” of past TV series, so I reckon there’ll be a remake of Friends.


Nah, they need to keep the minimalist vibe and do Alan Bennet monologues with just a white room and a box for the actor to sit on.


In a single word, Apple.


What’s the matter? Hollywood not making enough Steve Jobs documentaries?


You just gave me a good idea to pitch next to Apple… a choose your own adventure book series… of course, at every point where you need to make a decision, you are only given one choice…


Ye complainers. I say if they manage to make a decent Netflix competitor (hopefully with a better back catalog) it’ll be a good thing for show watchers everywhere.


Why? So they can charge 10000% what it’s worth and hipsters can feel superior for having thrown away the money to see it one time?


What writer/director/actor wants to be micromanaged by some Apple wonk?


It’ll cost $70.00 per month, but, you know, you can brag to your friends how “cool” you are because your hippster enough to get it.


The answer is simple.

  1. Apple buys
  2. Make Leo a billionaire
  3. Never interfere with their creativity.
  4. Realize Apple could never No.3
  5. Keep watching since Apple didn’t buy it.


That, admittedly, would be fantastic