Apple to unveil a wearable device, iPhone 6, and 'a whole lot more' Tue. Sep. 9, 10am PT


#1

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#2

For professional reasons I’m hoping a new Mac Mini is announced. If it happens to have an optional leather strap so you can wear it on your wrist, so be it.


#3

Imagine if people were this hyped up for the newest breakthroughs in dental floss.


#4

Soooooo overdue. However, I’m not getting my hopes up, because something tells me the next mini may be a significant redesign (now with more mini! Or would that be less?) that is dependent on the Broadwell chips that won’t be shipping until early '15 or thereabouts. Maybe closer to the size of the current AppleTV.


#5

Is this the first Apple event Boing Boing has been invited too?


#6

I’m crossing my fingers for something that doesn’t have a battery that requires factory servicing or is not replaceable, has an expected life of 10 years plus, and isn’t made just for consuming media.

Okay. Maybe not. the Mac products sure are sexy though and for a few years they’ve had enough power that those who want their systems to do some of the heavy lifting have been able to use them.


#7

But it’s 10% lighter than the last dental floss I had and the case has rounded edges!


#8

Rounded edges. Those are patented you know…


#9

You can sync it with your toothbrush for a unified experience.


#10

I’m questioning at this point whether or not your teapot may violate the patent. If it were a bit more squarish with rounded edges, you might have a problem.


#11

Just make a stupid car stereo that integrates with the iphone and GPS n’ shit.

I miss Steve. He made these things more fun.

Also, my my don’t the apple threads attract the grouches. What up, Oscar?


#12

I miss Dennis Ritchie more, but Steve was a decent salesman in my book.


#14

Yep. And he seemed to keep a tighter lid on information leaks. I WANT to be surprised. That’s half the fun.


#16

Four years have passed since Apple blew our minds with a completely new device.

Even longer, for some of us…


#18

ZOMIGOD!* ZOMIGOD!* NEW APPLE PRODUCT!!!* I am totally shitting myself!* First Apple creates the first MP3 player, then the first smart phone, now they are going to release the first iWatch!* So excited!* I am literally shitting myself, as in I need to change my underwear because my bowels let go over the first iWatch where I can totally get updates on MY FUCKING WRIST!!!111!!!* SOOO EXCITED!* THE WORLD IS CHANGING!!!* BEST CLOSED SOURCE CLOSED ECOSYSTEM OF DRMED UP THE ASS SOFTWARE AND HARDWARE CHARGING REALLY HIGH MARGINS FROM A CORPORATION EVER!!!111!!!111!!!* FUCKING EVERYTHING IS TOTALLY CHANGED!!!111!!!* I HOPE THEY HAVE MODELS AND U2!!!*

He said sarcastically.*

**No, REALLY sarcastically.


#19

Can’t say as I’ve noticed… :wink:


#20

Does it help that I’m typing this on a Macbook pro?

I just have some issues with the way Apple does things and consumerism in general, and every “let’s get excited about new consumer crap” article gets me a bit more agitated. It also took me several years to get over “paradigm” being used as a marketing term. I’m currently wincing at “disruptive”.

Some of Apples products have been fantastic. The hype is a bit excruciating though. I realize I already promised to jump off the thread but I’m a crotchety old guy so…


#21

iWatch, your personal surveillance tether.


#22

A corporation is going to announce that they are going to launch their shitty proprietary version of what already exists. Anyone who gets excited over that needs to tear their face away from the Silicon Valley circle jerk for a few seconds and smell the fresh air. I’m not saying don’t report it, but watching the media work up a good solid woody over a carefully crafted corporate message about their version of some extraordinarily mundane proprietary crap technology that already exists is really just obnoxious at this point. Seriously, part of the report is that U2 is going to get paid a pile of money to prostitute themselves to help sell this mundane crap, as if U2 getting paid off to pimp this junk is worthy of anything other than disdain. Blowing millions on marketing should nausiate, not excite.

I love technology, but I wish people would be less excited by a carefully crafted corporate marketing mastrabation session. It holds all the excitement and wonder of timeshare sales pitch. There is neat, exciting, and new technology out there being developed, and I can promise you that the Apple corporate announcement marketing event that tech journalist are shitting themselves over will be utterly devoid of it.

I struggle to think of anything in tech journalism less worthy of reporting on than some corporation’s carefully crafted message about what the shit they are hawking is going to be. It is like reporting what the minister of propaganda of North Korea is saying.

So yeah, go ahead and report on it, but I personally would prefer if the tech media could at least pretend to not be shitting themselves in excitement over the corporate marketing spectacle they are going to faithfully patriot back to their readers. There is literally nothing less worthwhile about reporting on than a marketing event designed specifically for tech journalist. Cover it, but I personally think it should be done with the same level of enthusiasm and skepticism as someone sitting through a timeshare marketing session in order to get a free hotel room for the night. The event is pure corporate marketing to tech journalist. At least try and not look so excited.


#23

Sorry don’t mean to be thick but what was this device? I must have completely missed it. The only thing I can think of from 4 years ago is the iPad, but of course there was nothing new about that, tablet computers have been around for decades.