Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/07/23/no-matter-how-hard-dc-tries-a.html
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No matter how hard DC tries, Aquaman will never be cool
He sell tooth paste!
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Go watch The Brave and the Bold and tell me that Aquaman isn’t awesome. He’s the best of the bunch outside the comics themselves.
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“So you really have all the powers of a fish?”
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My Granny said, “fish and guests stink after three days”.
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THIS thread should be fun!
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Aquaman gets a lot of bad press. Many fans dismiss him as the lamest of the lame superheroes. (“Trouble on land? Sorry, can’t help – I’m Aqua-man.”)
Which is why I have created a superhero who is even more lame and limited: The Spelunker, king of the cavernous underworld, lord of all things pale and blind. “Blind cave frogs, assemble!”
Updates:
- @michaeljtobias: Thanks for the naked mole rats, they are most welcome on the team – now Assemble, ye subterranean rodents!
- @timstellmach: Thanks for the Cave Carson reference – I was not familiar with him. It’s cool, he can join the team: Assemble, Cave Carson! Assemble!
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Naked mole rats. He needs naked mole rats.
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Jason Momoa fighting the Wraith in Atlantis – wasn’t this a TV series?
I think we should have a moratorium on the color blue in action movies. Can’t superheroes and supervillains buy nice bright white LED light bulbs like the rest of us?
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i don’t know… i never understood the scorn for aquaman. i mean, he lords over most of the planet!
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I dunno… haters gonna hate, I guess.
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Lemme get my nitpicking glasses on…
Extreme was Rob “lil’ feet” Liefeld.
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What are you talking about? I loved that other “aquaman” movie, the one they always have on during baseball rain delays.
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Why does Aquaman get a bad rap? Because he’s second best at everything.
Sure, he can flip an armored car over his shoulder, and getting shot point blank in the face just makes him frown at you, but Superman and Wonder Woman are stronger and tougher.
Sure, he can jump over small buildings, but Superman (and frequently Wonder Woman) can just outright fly.
It never gets brought up that he once did an orbital drop without a space ship (and was fine!), no no, just that he gets weaker when he’s out of water for too long.
And then there’s the fish thing. Man, he probably wishes he’d never brought that up, but being able to order any sea creature around is a pretty damn impressive power when you’re in the ocean where he works most of the time. Especially considering what the DC universe has floating around down there that qualifies as a “sea creature”.
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Isn’t that aquarium scene kind of…
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Ok, I can’t even think of a way to be subtle about it: totally lifted straight out of Harry Potter?
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Oh, you mean Cave Carson.
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He has a cybernetic eye, you know.
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i KNEW that scene seemed familiar!
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I don’t think you watched the same kinda-goofy, over-the-top trailer featuring missile-laden sharks that everyone else did.
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“It is so grim-dark and EXTREME”
The Alchemist:
I’m here! And I’ve got some fancy beer and some chips guaranteed to be… extreme!
Dr. Orpheus:
(Amazed) How is that possible…?
The Alchemist:
I don’t know, by putting a lightning bolt on the bag.
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