Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/10/05/are-your-cells-sedentary.html
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My cells are buzzing around like mofo right now.
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My cells may or may not be sedentary, but the rest of me sure is.
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Mine are sedimentary.
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This sounds plausible. I exercise, but I’m also sedentary and that’s probably bad. I’m still not 100% convinced since this particular video was heavy on saying a lot of things, but did not back anything up with evidence. The evidence may be there, but just not in this video.
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My cells are growing soft. And I think my love may be tainted.
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I really like the concept of “movement nutrition.” I’ve been experimenting with getting a good variety of movement by staying as upright and active as possible almost every day of the past 5 weeks, and I’m seeing some amazing results. Life-changing, transformative results.
This is coming from someone who “exercised” regularly (ie. jogging for a few miles every 2-3 days, rock climbing, cycling, hiking, or walking regularly, and kept a healthy diet and maintained good sleep hygiene. I saw reasonable results from my previous habits, but nothing so profound as what I’ve seen over the past 5 weeks.
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Flee your grind, and your mass will hollow.
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They’re not sedentary.
They’re just bored.
GIGER: Very well, young man. Let me ask you both a simple question. Do you want to die?
NOG: No.
JAKE: Not really.
GIGER: Of course you don’t, so why should you? Why should any of us end up as putrefying corpses in wooden boxes stuck in the ground, or vaporised into subatomic particles and vented into the cosmos like a bad case of gas? No reason that I can think of. I have devoted my life to the study of death, and do you know what I found? Death is nothing more than the result of cellular boredom.
JAKE: Boredom?
GIGER: Think about it. The cells in your body have been doing the same job, the same dull monotonous routine, every day since you were conceived. Metabolise, divide, metabolise, divide. Wouldn’t you get bored? Of course you would. So at some point, the cells just say, ‘that’s it’, and you, the unwary victim of cellular ennui, are quite literally bored to death.
NOG: I never thought about it that way.
GIGER: Doctor Bathkin of Andros Three was the first to come up with the answer to solving the puzzle of death. Keep the cells energised. Keep them in the game by teaching them new mitochondrial tricks. Unfortunately, before he could finish his work, Doctor Bathkin died in a shuttle accident. Or so they say. And while the soulless minions of orthodoxy refuse to follow up on his important research, I could hear the clarion call of destiny ringing in my ears. And now, after fifteen years of tireless effort, after being laughed at and hounded out of the halls of the scientific establishment, after begging and scrounging for materials across half the galaxy, I have nearly completed work on this. The Cellular Regeneration and Entertainment Chamber.
JAKE: What does it do?
GIGER: I’m glad you asked. It is specially designed to transmit biogenic energy on a chromoelectric wavelength and send uplifting and entertaining messages to the nuclei of every cell in your body. Spend eight hours a day in this machine and your cells will never get bored. You will never grow old, and most important, you will never die. That is the goal of my work, nothing less than immortality itself.
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Would these be the same ancestors who expected to die in their thirties?
Is there a proper Latinish name for this fallacy yet?
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How about argumentum ad parentem?
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Does hoisting count?
Bending an elbow I mean.
'Cause I do do that.
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Having watched the tour of her home, I found a lot of similarities to what I do (without quite so much a “woo” factor.) However, I’m always amused by all these folks who aren’t in their late 40s yet acting as if nothing could be easier than having full range of motion in all their joints.
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Paleo ad absurdum.
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Don’t know about latin, but it sounds a bit like Argument from Antiquity.
“That’s how it’s always been done/was done in the good old days. So we ought to do it that way now.”
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I read that as “are your calls sedentary?” and, no, I pace when on the phone.
We were evolved to flee from T-Rex, so that seems pretty close.
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Always end up feeling alienated and mad when the topic of sedentariness comes up. I’m chronically ill and have trouble standing for even a minute without severe pain and weakness. With a recent medication tweak I’ve been able to start riding a bike daily (I can’t ride my bike as long as my 70 year old mother but it’s a start…) and building some muscle with stretches and exercises, but walking and standing are still enormously painful. So I sit a lot. Which I am aware, is satan now and we’re all gonna die and standing desks!!! and I just… could just one JUST ONE of these have anything to say about disabilities. I mean other than the usual thing about whatever it is being a panacea.
I don’t even doubt that movement is good for you, I just feel left out.
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That’s the other factor (the first being dying younger) that gets skipped when praising our ancient ancestors: the sick and infirm were killed or abandoned.
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I have a sneaking suspicion the people who praise the habits of our ancient ancestors as guidelines we should use today might actually be okay with killing/abandoning the old/infirm/fat.
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