Badass Delvers of the Dragon: Round 1 – Cherry Gris

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Pleased to meet you, I’m [Lorenzo Romano Amedeo Carlo Avogadro di Quaregna e di Cerreto the Moleman (Avo, for short).] 1

Your link isn’t working for me (I know how to look you up, of course). Frankly, links to specific comments in Discourse aren’t working well for me. My link, which should go straight to my comment with my character is actually bringing up OtherMichael’s prior typical 400 page epic post. Does anyone else have that problem?

I like precision and things working well, so I went back in and spent some time fixing things. Give it a try now.

Thanks: fixed my link as well, wrong comment id.

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@daneel @uphill @SteampunkBanana --is this obnoxious? What’s the best way to pull a subgroup together in a conversation?

As to getting our buddy Shim through cave customs…I Have a Foolproof Plan. We just need a small hand cart with beach tires. We’ll put something in it that might arouse the interest of the guards but prove innocuous, maybe even annoying to them. That will keep their attention focused on the contents of the cart, and not the cart itself.

Here’s the plan: close to the customs gate we remove one of the tires. Then we get our friend Shim to pick up the axle on that side of the cart. Then we need someone to do a really good job of startling Shim so that he wraps himself up around the axle. Then we just need to keep him startled as we roll him past the inspectors.

PRO-TIP: do not discuss this plan ahead of time with Shim.

So, we need my brilliant plan, and a good startler…but we should also have some backup. I’m thinking someone to talk up the guards as we pass through to minimize their attention on us, and someone to build or modify the cart so that it fits Shim more ideally.

How does that sound? Should I keep ordering beers until it sounds better?



This space reserved! I’ll be contributing on the morrow.


What do we need to do, and when?

Do we just start playing out our missions right now? When’s the deadline?

Can you pull together everyone’s cliches into a list somewhere for reference?


Just attempt the mission you choose: tell us what your character decides to do, and when push comes to shove, roll the dice against your most appropriate cliche. If you succeed, rinse and repeat. If you fail, someone else can tell us how it went wrong.

No deadline right now, I want to see how fast you all move. At worst, we’ll say two weeks from date posted.


Clarification: My understanding is that the difficulty must not be tied but exceeded to be a success - hence a roll of 6 would fail and a roll of 10 would be 4 caps? Although the thoughtfully provided odds table seems to indicate that a tie is success. Perhaps that keg of Moose Urine was destined for the Gilded Gosling after all?

Or is this different from mission to mission?

Awright amigos, I guess I’m on the hook for this one. Let me fix myself a drink (it’s 5 o’clock about 15 minutes east of here) and I’ll lay all out.

Good point. Fixed above.

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D’Melzaa, Silas, Avo and Shmu approach the Ridwhick Cavern Gates at a medium mosey. Silas is casually pulling a beach wagon covered with a tarp, while his hounds lope along beside him. Schim the Pangolean scurries along after, looking nervously left and right.

“The guards, the guards are going to see me! You think hiding under a tarp in a weird wagon is going to fool them! I’m the fool, why did I go with you?”

Even at this distance the guards give off that aura of being bored…but bitter about it. The worst kind of guys to try and sneak past.

“Because I Have a Foolproof Plan, Shim.”

“Schim! For the millionth time, SCHIM!”

“Quiet Shim! The guards will hear you! They can detect a Pangolean accent from 200 yards!”


Shmu glances at Avo. “Does the cart seem funny to you?”

“Why, I say, I think you’re right. The right wheel is riding most peculiarly! We’ll have to repair it before we pass through. Let me grab my tools. D’Melzaa, can you go distract the guards for a minute? Silas, help me lift the front of the cart. Good, here’s the wheel…Schim, please help out a minute, hang on to this axle. No, hold it there and there. Excellent, now I’ll see what’s going on with the wheel.”

Shmu nods, and the plan goes into action. He’s the challenger, and rolls his I Have a Foolproof Plan. Awright DiscBot, lemme have it!

@discbot roll 3d6

Avo used Tinker, Tinker, Tinker to prepare a perfect cart for our cunning plan. He’ll roll 3d6, with only sixes contributing.

D’Melzaa is using The Gift of Gab on the guards to help manage how they go about inspecting us. She’ll roll 4d6, with only sixes contributing.

Silas job is to startle Schim with his Unstable Squaddie act, and keep him startled until we’ve rolled him well past the gate. He’ll role 4d6, with only sixes contributing.

“Here we go.”

@Glutnix – shall we have everyone weigh in with some story for their part, or maybe just if they wind up contributing?



@Ratel the 3d6 dice reads: 10 (2,5,3)

@Ratel the 3d6 dice reads: 8 , with only sixes contributing. (1,6,1)

@Ratel the 4d6 dice reads: 15 , with only sixes contributing. (2,4,6,3)

Hmmm. DiscBot’s a little more aggressive about trying to find dice in a text than I thought. We’ll just ignore those other rolls. Guys…I’m sorry, but someone will have to come through for us. All we need is one of you to get a six, though.

@daneel @uphill @SteampunkBanana

D’Melzaa sidles over to the guards, catches their eye.

“Could I have a word with you about this inspection? I know there’s the rules, but I’m sure we can come to some kind of agreement…”

@discbot roll 4d6

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I think you have to quote the DiscBot command?

@daneel the 4d6 dice reads: 13 (3,4,3,3)

Apparently not? I’m confused.

“It would be our honor to join you. Ssstegma here has an allergy to fungal sssporesss…”

“I nevuh said that, Boss. They just give me the wind.”

“…and nobody wantsss that to happen, Sssteg. Shaddap, I’m talkin’ to a lady here.”

“Oh, excuse the ever-lovin’ spoor outta me, biped.”

“You wanna lose another dorsssal plate?”

“I know where you sleep, Pee-Wee.”

“Sssorry, ma’am. Sssomebody here needsss to evolve. Anyway, the toadssstool heissst isn’t blowin’ my ssskirt up, and sssomebody elssse already took off with the aardvark, ssso I’m happy to come check out what might be in the unmarked tunnels. I got thisss here Night-Ssseein’ Goggles sssetup (2) which really won’t be good enough to give me the roll I need by myself to find an un-surveyed passage (even if I roll 2 sixes, that’s just enough to lose), but! Maybe we can add my +2 dark-vision to your +4 Steerswoman’s knowledge. You’ve got a good chance to take an educated whack at finding the tunnel, and I might roll well enough to add a six or two. When it comes to fighting the giant insectsss (or any foe we meet down below), you and I together possessss seven (7) combined pointsss of Dirtyfighting prowesss. I bet we can’t lose! Whaddaya sssay?”