Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - Round 4 - Ugly Duckling


#1

The first team manages a bang-up job fending off dozens of bloodthirsty space eels. Under cover of harpoons and blasters, the others crack open crates of strange cargo and ransack the lab. Carefully, slowly the engine crew attempt to nudge the damaged jump cores back to the Coleridge

Some walk away with lucky finds and others have hopes dashed by the cruel whims of fate. Luck is always in short supply when you’re a void scavenger. When will you push yours too far?


[Meanwhile, back at a nondescript office building on NeoTarsus…]

Taller Human: “Do we have any reports back from the ship? They’re not all dead already, are they?”

Shorter Human: “Not unless they’re monumentally incompetent. I’ll give you even odds on that, Ms. Chaum?”

Ms. Chaum: “Not on your life, Ms. Chum.”

Ms. Chum: “Smart. I knew we’d make good partners. Since you ask, we do have the initial reports from the Coleridge and the returns are well within the projected profit margin so far.”

Ms. Chaum: “That’s something at least. I still can’t believe we managed to get backing with our startup pitch.”

Ms. Chum: “‘Like uber but for press gangs’? Worked like a charm.”


Related Links

Order deadline: Sun Feb 12 at 2300 UTC


#2

@bizmail_public

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Hans Landau                  |  67/100 |  21 |  20 |  18 |  23 |  16 |   3 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 119Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -2Ʉ | Paid to critter
| -2Ʉ | Paid to uphill
| -10Ʉ | Paid to glutnix
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 4 - Hold Me Now
| -14HP | That's gonna leave a mark
| +60Ʉ | Good salvage: High-energy transmitters
| +55Ʉ | Good salvage: Power converters

@critter

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Tom Ratchetcrank             |  31/100 |  32 |  20 |  23 |  17 |  19 |   3 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 66Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Booster_Jet ( EVA+4 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| +2Ʉ | Received from bizmail_public
| -25Ʉ | Bought Blaster
| -25Ʉ | Bought Blaster
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 1 - What a Raw Eel
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| -24HP | 4x Nibbled on by space eels
| +5Ʉ | Good salvage: Jellied space eel
| +6Ʉ | Good salvage: Smoked space eel
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi
| +5Ʉ | Good salvage: Jellied space eel
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi
| +16Ʉ | Great salvage: Mounted space eel head
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi

@daneel

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Spike Greenarm               |  26/100 |  31 |  15 |  25 |  19 |  20 |   2 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 75Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Booster_Jet ( EVA+4 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -4Ʉ | Paid to gwwar
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -25Ʉ | Bought Blaster
| -25Ʉ | Bought Blaster
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 1 - What a Raw Eel
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| -42HP | 5x Nibbled on by space eels
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi
| +6Ʉ | Good salvage: Smoked space eel
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi
| +14Ʉ | Great salvage: Stuffed space eel
| +14Ʉ | Great salvage: Stuffed space eel
| +6Ʉ | Good salvage: Smoked space eel

@donald_petersen

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Tex Ass                      |  58/100 |  25 |  18 |  23 |  26 |  15 |   1 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 145Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Crowbar ( POW+4 )
|     Booster_Jet ( EVA+4 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -25Ʉ | Bought Booster_Jet
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 4 - Hold Me Now
| -19HP | That's gonna leave a mark
| +90Ʉ | Great salvage: Strange Artifact
| +55Ʉ | Good salvage: Power converters

@dreamboatskanky

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Quirky Kumquat               |  59/100 |  20 |  15 |  21 |  20 |  18 |   3 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 194Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Harpoon_Gun ( POW+4 )
|     SuitPal_9000 ( SCI+3 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| +6Ʉ | Received from rkt88edmo
| -2Ʉ | Paid to othermichael
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought SuitPal_9000
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 3 - She Blinded Me
| -12HP | Shouldn't have pushed that button
| +180Ʉ | Good salvage: Experimental logs

@glutnix

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Browf Clamphoof              |  77/100 |  30 |  22 |  23 |  17 |  15 |   4 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 94Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Mag_Boots ( DEF+3 EVA-1 )
|     Negative_mass ( EVA+6 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -20Ʉ | Paid to uphill
| +10Ʉ | Received from bizmail_public
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -25Ʉ | Bought Blaster
| Unable to purchase Blaster.  Insufficient funds on hand [24]
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 1 - What a Raw Eel
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| -18HP | 4x Nibbled on by space eels
| +5Ʉ | Good salvage: Jellied space eel
| +5Ʉ | Good salvage: Jellied space eel
| +15Ʉ | Great salvage: Space eel leather
| +14Ʉ | Great salvage: Stuffed space eel
| +15Ʉ | Great salvage: Space eel leather
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi
| +2Ʉ | Poor salvage: Eel guts, blergh

@gwwar

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Vi Locke                     |  79/105 |  27 |  18 |  17 |  22 |  18 |   8 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 48Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| +4Ʉ | Received from daneel
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -10Ʉ | Bought Armor_Plates ( HP+5 MaxHP+5 )
| -25Ʉ | Bought Blaster
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 1 - What a Raw Eel
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| -4HP | Nibbled on by space eels
| +5Ʉ | Good salvage: Jellied space eel
| +6Ʉ | Good salvage: Smoked space eel
| +5Ʉ | Good salvage: Jellied space eel
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi
| +5Ʉ | Good salvage: Jellied space eel
| +6Ʉ | Good salvage: Smoked space eel
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi

@monkeyoh

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Omicron Nu Pi, PhD           |  55/100 |  15 |  22 |  19 |  16 |  20 |   6 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 310Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Mag_Boots ( DEF+3 EVA-1 )
|     SuitPal_9000 ( SCI+3 )
|     Jump_dust ( DEF+1 EVA+2 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
+--Mission results---------------------------
| SUCCESS! | Mission 5 - Two-Point Conversion
| -0HP | Nerves of steel! ( GLO+5 )
| +250Ʉ | Mission incentive payment

@newliminted

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Theodore Rump                |  21/100 |  17 |  18 |  19 |  23 |  23 |   7 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 303Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Directional_Antenna ( SEN+1 EVA+1 )
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Jump_dust ( POW+1 SEN+1 SCI+1 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
+--Mission results---------------------------
| SUCCESS! | Mission 5 - Two-Point Conversion
| -0HP | Nerves of steel! ( GLO+5 )
| +250Ʉ | Mission incentive payment

#3

@old

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Dottie                       |  30/100 |  27 |  16 |  21 |  25 |  18 |   5 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 79Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Harpoon_Gun ( POW+4 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -25Ʉ | Bought Blaster
| Unable to purchase Blaster.  Insufficient funds on hand [24]
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 1 - What a Raw Eel
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| -26HP | Nibbled on by space eels
| +6Ʉ | Good salvage: Smoked space eel
| +2Ʉ | Poor salvage: Eel guts, blergh
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi
| +16Ʉ | Great salvage: Mounted space eel head
| +6Ʉ | Good salvage: Smoked space eel
| +6Ʉ | Good salvage: Smoked space eel
| +6Ʉ | Good salvage: Smoked space eel
| +7Ʉ | Good salvage: Space unagi

@othermichael

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Coccinea M. Ornatus          |  56/100 |  16 |  19 |  28 |  18 |  16 |   2 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 115Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Directional_Antenna ( SEN+1 EVA+1 )
|     Booster_Jet ( EVA+4 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| +4Ʉ | Received from rkt88edmo
| +2Ʉ | Received from dreamboatskanky
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -25Ʉ | Bought Booster_Jet
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 4 - Hold Me Now
| -30HP | That's gonna leave a mark
| +60Ʉ | Good salvage: High-energy transmitters
| +55Ʉ | Good salvage: Power converters

@penguinchris

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Ester                        |  73/100 |  20 |  19 |  23 |  23 |  23 |   1 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 195Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Optical_Inferometer ( SCI+3 )
|     Gyroscope ( EVA+4 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 3 - She Blinded Me
| -4HP | Shouldn't have pushed that button
| +190Ʉ | Good salvage: Modular stellarator

@rkt88edmo

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Galacto Hardenhoof           |  17/100 |  23 |  17 |  20 |  25 |  18 |   3 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 9Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -6Ʉ | Paid to dreamboatskanky
| -4Ʉ | Paid to othermichael
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| Unable to purchase Armor_Plates.  Insufficient funds on hand [9]
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 3 - She Blinded Me
| -14HP | Shouldn't have pushed that button
| -31HP | ☢☠☣ Very dangerous salvage...

@sealion

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Seelo Lionoppolis            |  39/105 |  21 |  27 |  17 |  22 |  18 |   1 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 159Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Mag_Boots ( DEF+3 EVA-1 )
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Impact_Gel ( DEF+4 )
|     Optical_Inferometer ( SCI+3 )
|     Impact_Gel ( DEF+4 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -10Ʉ | Bought Armor_Plates ( HP+5 MaxHP+5 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Impact_Gel
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 4 - Hold Me Now
| -17HP | That's gonna leave a mark
| +60Ʉ | Good salvage: High-energy transmitters
| +90Ʉ | Great salvage: Strange Artifact

@steampunkbanana

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Mark Watney                  |  43/100 |  17 |  18 |  19 |  20 |  21 |   6 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 310Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Directional_Antenna ( SEN+1 EVA+1 )
|     SuitPal_9000 ( SCI+3 )
|     Jump_dust ( POW+2 SCI+1 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
+--Mission results---------------------------
| SUCCESS! | Mission 5 - Two-Point Conversion
| -0HP | Nerves of steel! ( GLO+5 )
| +250Ʉ | Mission incentive payment

@uphill

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Brian                        |  88/105 |  23 |  20 |  22 |  23 |  22 |   1 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 171Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Booster_Jet ( EVA+4 )
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|     SuitPal_9000 ( SCI+3 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| +20Ʉ | Received from glutnix
| +2Ʉ | Received from bizmail_public
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -10Ʉ | Bought Armor_Plates ( HP+5 MaxHP+5 )
| -25Ʉ | Bought Blaster
| -20Ʉ | Bought SuitPal_9000
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 3 - She Blinded Me
| -6HP | Shouldn't have pushed that button
| +170Ʉ | Good salvage: Fused quartz gyroscope

@wisconsinplatt

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Hieronymoose Warnsforth      |  48/105 |  16 |  29 |  22 |  18 |  17 |   2 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 142Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Booster_Jet ( EVA+4 )
|     Impact_Gel ( DEF+4 )
|     Impact_Gel ( DEF+4 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -10Ʉ | Bought Armor_Plates ( HP+5 MaxHP+5 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Impact_Gel
| -20Ʉ | Bought Impact_Gel
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -1Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 2 - Crew Cut
| AVOID | Close shave!
| -20HP | Attacked by Sentinel droid
| +19Ʉ | Good salvage: Personal effects
| +20Ʉ | Good salvage: Personal effects
| +20Ʉ | Good salvage: Personal effects
| +65Ʉ | RARE salvage: Unsettling implications
| +18Ʉ | Good salvage: Personal effects

#4

“Nice work fetching those jump cores. Darn things are so expensive on the open market. With these on board, I bet our stockpiles might even last until we get home without the usual rationing that invariably happens near the end of a run. In fact, we’re getting near the bottom of the barrel on our allocation for the Swan job.”

“Company’s coming, and that complicates things. Long range scans are picking up the signature of an adult space eel, and it’s heading our way fast. I reckon it’s the momma eel and she’s not too happy with us. We’re going to have one last shot at the Swan and then we have to hightail it out of here.”

##Round 3 - Mission Options

Idle Fee: 25Ʉ
"The devil finds work for idle hands. That’s where the old scavenger motto ‘Never give juice to the devil’ comes from you know."


Mission 1 - Is This Eel Life?
"Now I ain’t no warship, but we have a handful of popguns to deter pirates. They won’t be enough to take out a full-grown space eel, but it might make her think twice. I’m going to need a few of you to stay on board, man the guns, and slow her down long enough to make one last run on the Swan. "

Mission Cost: no cost
Minimum Requirements: none
Risks: (25-SCI)% Chance the cannon jams while firing causing it to explode, 30-50 damage based on DEF.
Expected salvage: 60Ʉ incentive payment, GLO+1
SPECIAL: This mission affects all other missions based on total SEN assigned to it. All other missions have a (125 - total SEN)% chance of being devoured by a giant space eel as they return to the Coleridge


Mission 2 - Not My Vault
"Several unusual rooms connected to that science lab. In the back of the lab, you’ve found a small room with dozens of small vaults embedded in the walls. You’ll have a chance to try and open a few of them before needing to abandon the Swan, so get cracking."

Mission Cost: 10Ʉ
Minimum Requirements: none
Risks: 3x vaults: (60+SEN)% chance to open a vault safely; anti-theft devices cause: 2-20HP per failure
Expected salvage: Up to 3x chances at high-value salvage
SPECIAL: You may have a chance to be eaten by a giant space eel. See Mission 1 for details.


Mission 3 - Mysterious Portal
"Can’t help but wonder if they discovered something they weren’t expecting out here and it done did them in. Experimenting with farcaster technology? That stuff has been forbidden for ages and for good reason. Normally, I’d say stay away but the gear in there is too good to pass up. "

Mission Cost: 15Ʉ
Minimum Requirements: none
Risks: Gamma Rays, 35-60HP minus current DEF score (e.g. 15-40 for DEF20)
Expected salvage: 2x chance at high-value salvage, no chance of items
SPECIAL: You may have a chance to be eaten by a giant space eel. See Mission 1 for details.


Mission 4 - Black Lab
"Based on the questionable tech strewn around this secret lab, I’d wager the Swan was an illicit research vessel. And here I thought that portal was sketchy. Some interesting gear lying around, but you’ll have to contend with that self-replicating swarm of skinkbots inside. I can’t tell if it was supposed to be a security mechanism or experiment gone wild. Reckon it don’t matter much either way."

Mission Cost: 20Ʉ
Minimum Requirements: none
Risks: Autonomous drone swarm, 10-40HP based on EVA, DEF% chance to take half damage.
Expected salvage: 5x standard salvage opportunities, fair chance of items
SPECIAL: You may have a chance to be eaten by a giant space eel. See Mission 1 for details.

##Company Store##
“We’d exhausted most of our our mission allocation, so I had to kick the fabricators into overdrive to have enough gear available in time. Here’s hoping it’s enough.”

65Ʉ Disruptor ( POW+8 SEN-2 )
50Ʉ Rad_Shielding (DEF+8 EVA-2)
50Ʉ Sensor_Suite ( SCI+4 POW-1 )
40Ʉ Flywheel ( EVA+3 )
50Ʉ Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
20Ʉ Repairs ( HP+25 )


#5

“Have you had a chance to decrypt all those logs, Kassie? Find anything interesting?”

[quote=“Kassandra”]
"You bet. More data corruption than I’d like, but the classified ones had enough repeating patterns to get a foothold. Patterns like:

…ilgexxd lkohdai asoo warp offline ortmo ororpta…
…ziib uugd atb critical engine failure ekotru taera zne uugd…
…roibaenkt mesedez gadnlkuuo guid ngare boarded by aarorr lusg gkzuaa aird…
…ngzrnaieiait sxatoknte adirziea hull integrity nzai railrik arirsanku …[/quote]
“Sounds bad. Pirates?”

[quote=“Kassandra”]
“We wouldn’t be finding this much gear if it were. And with no sign of any crew anywhere? Smells like something worse to me. Much worse.”[/quote]


#6

Well, that didn’t go to plan.


#7

Thanks for throwing yourself into all those eels for me.

| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| -42HP | 5x Nibbled on by space eels
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| AVOID | Take a bite outta this! *ZOT*
| -4HP | Nibbled on by space eels

Targeting the eels stuck to you was quite satisfying. Hopefully I didn’t hit anything important.

Oh and as promised, here’s your juice:

@Kassandra SUBMIT
PAY 6 daneel
END

Now cheer up! We have plenty of unagi to go around. The trick is to start the charcoal grill and finish cooking before the AI finds out and spaces the room.


#8

Owowowowowowowow.


#9

Well would you look at that. Nobody died. Nobody died from the deadly cores that I safely moved. You should all thank me. With juice. Lots of juice. Some say I did it for the Glory, but I didn’t. I’m a very humble person. I did it for the juice. I suppose I could share the Glory I earned with those who helped, however marginally. Mark Watto, Epsilon What’syer Mu? Passable effort.


#10

Well Done!

A big THANK YOU to our Five Master Blasters (Tom Ratchetcrank, Spike Greenarm, Browf Clamphoof, Vi Locke, and Dottie ) for gathering all that delicious eel! You all earned your yummy rewards - although I wonder what Dottie thinks of the eels now that more have had a chance to “kiss” her.

Also, ALL THREE of our scientist ( Theodore Rump @newliminted, Mark Watney @steampunkbanana, and Omicron Nu Pi, PhD @monkeyoh ) succeeded, and are now rich and full of glow. Aces!

As the next mission comes into focus, we should look beyond our internal states, seeking to extend our entanglements and reciprocations to five scavengers whose HP are in a perilous state. Notice that three are hard-working Master Blasters that cleared the way for the rest of us to have an easy salvage.

hp name handle
17 Galacto Hardenhoof @rkt88edmo
21 Theodore Rump @newliminted
26 Spike Green arm @daneel
30 Dottie @Old
31 Tom Ratchetcrank @critter

–Han Landau


#11

@messana

I appreciate all the work you are putting in – may I ask that you do a little more work and re-check the GLO numbers? I was under the impressions that the three successful Mission 5 scavengers would earn 5 GLO. Also, I thought killing an eel was worth 1 GLO, but it seems like dodging an eel earned a GLO. Am I mis-understanding?

Thanks again for all you do.

–Han Landau


#12

Eel kissers. Disgusting. Not even a 7.


#13

Evidently whatever deity governs events in Charybdis, it is biased against Cacti. This is one more burden my people have to bear. Other meat bags will suffer for this.


#14

Some of my best friends are succulents. #notallmeatbags


#15

Hello? Where am I?


#16

That’s a hell of a strange judgment for you to make, considering the fact that Watney and I did the bulk of the heavy lifting, while you were busy (hmmmm, how to put this politely?) wetting your suit.


#17

Alive. You started at 37, bought 25 in repairs (+25 to 62), pushed a button (-14 to 48) and then got dangerous salvage (-31 to 17).

Reminds me of this time on Mars, where I had my side punctured by this ridiculous antenna. Had to do my own surgery. Passed out two or three times. Really goddamned hurt.

The worst of it is that you’ve got, like, nine bucks. We’ll figure something out.


#18

(whispers are he does that to “warm it up.” That’s what I heard down in the galley. Just saying.)


#19

Doctor! I wanted to congratulate you on your ingenuity in taking the time to wrap that box with the gold foil from the last mission. Certainly kept Commodore Rump over there busy while I basically held the flashlight.

Reminded me of this one time on Mars where I celebrated my birthday alone and had to pretend to surprise myself by wrapping a potato in foil. Good times.


#20

“Ssss! Thhhhh! SuitPal, upload Mission Log 4.0.0.”

SuitPal 9000: “Uploading now, Quirky. Would you like me to deflate the clown hammers?”

QK: “Oh, right. I always forget. Please do, SuitPal.”

PING. Hissssssssssssssssssssssssss…


Mission Log QK-4.0.0

QK: Inflate the clown hammers, SuitPal.

SP9K: Clown hammers inflating, Quirky. Mind your head.

QK: My head? I don’t underst–

KLUNK

[Silence.]

Hisssssssssssss…

QK: Ouch.

SP9K: Welcome back. We’re in the lab. Proximity alert, green: scavenger party.

QK: Great. Scan for sciencey stuff.

SP9K: Scanning.

Blip!

QK: SuitPal! What’s that blip, SuitPal?

SP9K: Sciencey stuff. They appear to be some sort of experimental logs.

QK: That definitely sounds sciencey. Let’s get that.

SP9K: You’ll need to release the logs from the log-lock.

QK: Fiendishly clever, these Black Swan types.

SP9K: Wait. Wait. Incoming transmission…

QK: But what if I just press this red button?

SP9K: YOU SHOULDN’T PUSH THAT BUTTON.

klik

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGTTTPPPPLLLLNNNNNGGGRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

[End Upload Mission Log QK 4.0.0]