Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - Round 5 - Intermezzo


#1

The vaults offer up strange and unusual objects to the scavengers who work the tumblers as quickly as their suits will let them, while more questions are raised than answered by those that brave the hard radiation pouring off the strange portal. Gunnery does a bang-up job keeping the eel at bay, but the intense rate of fire required results in an unexpected meltdown. Booster jets on high, the scavengers scurry back to the ship with moments to spare.

Outward and upward to the next job. A scavenger's work is never done.


Related Links
- Round 4 - Ugly Duckling
- Round 6 - Nine Fathom Deep
- The Mess of the Coleridge
- Kassandra's Complex
- Rules and Gameplay

Order deadline: Sun Feb 19 at 2300 UTC


Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - Round 4 - Ugly Duckling
#2

@bizmail_public

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Hans Landau                  |  68/100 |  21 |  28 |  16 |  23 |  16 |   3 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 181Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Rad_Shielding ( DEF+8 EVA-2 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| +15Ʉ | Received from glutnix
| -8Ʉ | Paid to gwwar
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -50Ʉ | Bought Rad_Shielding
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -15Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 3 - Mysterious Portal
| -52HP | Gamma rays
| +28HP | Suit protection
| +60Ʉ | Good salvage: Temporal dampeners
| +80Ʉ | Great salvage: Transmission logs

@critter

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Tom Ratchetcrank             |  81/100 |  32 |  20 |  23 |  23 |  19 |   3 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 125Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Booster_Jet ( EVA+4 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|     Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| +9Ʉ | Received from steampunkbanana
| +25Ʉ | Received from newliminted
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -50Ʉ | Bought Targeting_Algorithm
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -10Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 2 - Not My Vault
| -0HP | 29 left...16 right...
| -0HP | 3 right...192 left...
| -0HP | 61 left...38 right...
| +40Ʉ | Good salvage: Vial of green goop
| +45Ʉ | Good salvage: Strange organism
| +40Ʉ | Good salvage: Vial of green goop

@daneel

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Spike Greenarm               |  76/100 |  30 |  15 |  25 |  19 |  24 |   3 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 81Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Booster_Jet ( EVA+4 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|     Sensor_Suite ( SCI+4 POW-1 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| +6Ʉ | Received from gwwar
| +5Ʉ | Received from steampunkbanana
| +25Ʉ | Received from newliminted
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -50Ʉ | Bought Sensor_Suite
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -0Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 1 - Is this Eel Life?
| -0HP | Cool as a cucumber.
| +60Ʉ | Mission incentive payment

@donald_petersen

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Tex Ass                      |  58/100 |  25 |  18 |  23 |  32 |  15 |   1 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 213Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Crowbar ( POW+4 )
|     Booster_Jet ( EVA+4 )
|     Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -2Ʉ | Paid to rkt88edmo
| -50Ʉ | Bought Targeting_Algorithm
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -10Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 2 - Not My Vault
| -0HP | 221 left...27 right...
| -0HP | 79 right...54 right...
| -0HP | 33 left...60 right...
| +45Ʉ | Good salvage: Strange organism
| +45Ʉ | Good salvage: Strange organism
| +40Ʉ | Good salvage: Vial of green goop

@dreamboatskanky

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Quirky Kumquat               | 100/100 |  20 |  15 |  21 |  32 |  18 |   3 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 190Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Harpoon_Gun ( POW+4 )
|     SuitPal_9000 ( SCI+3 )
|     Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
|     Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| +5Ʉ | Received from steampunkbanana
| +3Ʉ | Received from othermichael
| -2Ʉ | Paid to newliminted
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -50Ʉ | Bought Targeting_Algorithm
| -50Ʉ | Bought Targeting_Algorithm
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -10Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 2 - Not My Vault
| +0HP | 147 right...85 left...
| +0HP | 18 left...88 right...
| +0HP | 21 right...62 left...
| +50Ʉ | Good salvage: Chitinous scale
| +50Ʉ | Good salvage: Chitinous scale
| +40Ʉ | Good salvage: Vial of green goop

@glutnix

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Browf Clamphoof              |  51/100 |  34 |  22 |  28 |  17 |  21 |   4 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 119Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Mag_Boots ( DEF+3 EVA-1 )
|     Negative_mass ( EVA+6 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|     Flywheel ( EVA+3 )
|     Analytical_potato ( SCI+4 EVA+2 )
|     Power_cells ( POW+4 SCI+2 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -15Ʉ | Paid to bizmail_public
| -40Ʉ | Bought Flywheel
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -20Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 4 - Black Lab
| -26HP | Swarm of robotic skinks!
| ITEM | Salvaged and installed: Analytical_potato
| +35Ʉ | Good salvage: Medical instruments
| ITEM | Salvaged and installed: Power_cells
| +35Ʉ | Good salvage: Medical instruments
| +30Ʉ | Good salvage: Video playback

@gwwar

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Vi Locke                     |  79/105 |  27 |  18 |  17 |  28 |  18 |   9 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 65Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|     Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -6Ʉ | Paid to daneel
| +5Ʉ | Received from steampunkbanana
| +8Ʉ | Received from bizmail_public
| -50Ʉ | Bought Targeting_Algorithm
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -0Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 1 - Is this Eel Life?
| -0HP | Cool as a cucumber.
| +60Ʉ | Mission incentive payment

@monkeyoh

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Omicron Nu Pi, PhD           |  61/100 |  22 |  36 |  24 |  14 |  24 |   6 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 155Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Mag_Boots ( DEF+3 EVA-1 )
|     SuitPal_9000 ( SCI+3 )
|     Jump_dust ( DEF+1 EVA+2 )
|     Disruptor ( POW+8 SEN-2 )
|     Rad_Shielding ( DEF+8 EVA-2 )
|     Sensor_Suite ( SCI+4 POW-1 )
|     Flywheel ( EVA+3 )
|     Thermoptic_camoflage ( EVA+4 DEF+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -25Ʉ | Paid to othermichael
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -65Ʉ | Bought Disruptor
| -50Ʉ | Bought Rad_Shielding
| -50Ʉ | Bought Sensor_Suite
| -40Ʉ | Bought Flywheel
| Unable to purchase Targeting_Algorithm.  Insufficient funds on hand [40]
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -20Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 4 - Black Lab
| AVOID | Hunker down for half damage
| -19HP | Swarm of robotic skinks!
| +30Ʉ | Good salvage: Video playback
| +20Ʉ | Good salvage: Thermofuge
| +35Ʉ | Good salvage: Medical instruments
| +30Ʉ | Good salvage: Video playback
| ITEM | Salvaged and installed: Thermoptic_camoflage

@newliminted

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Theodore Rump                |  59/100 |  17 |  26 |  20 |  29 |  23 |   8 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 65Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Directional_Antenna ( SEN+1 EVA+1 )
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Jump_dust ( POW+1 SEN+1 SCI+1 )
|     Rad_Shielding ( DEF+8 EVA-2 )
|     Flywheel ( EVA+3 )
|     Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -25Ʉ | Paid to critter
| -25Ʉ | Paid to daneel
| -50Ʉ | Paid to rkt88edmo
| +2Ʉ | Received from dreamboatskanky
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -50Ʉ | Bought Rad_Shielding
| -40Ʉ | Bought Flywheel
| -50Ʉ | Bought Targeting_Algorithm
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -0Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| FAILED! | Mission 1 - Is this Eel Life? 
| -37HP | Gun turret implosion
| +60Ʉ | Mission incentive payment

#3

@old

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Dottie                       |  80/100 |  27 |  16 |  21 |  25 |  18 |   6 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 99Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Harpoon_Gun ( POW+4 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -0Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 1 - Is this Eel Life?
| -0HP | Cool as a cucumber.
| +60Ʉ | Mission incentive payment

@othermichael

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Coccinea M. Ornatus          |  71/100 |  16 |  33 |  33 |  18 |  16 |   2 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 122Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Directional_Antenna ( SEN+1 EVA+1 )
|     Booster_Jet ( EVA+4 )
|     Flywheel ( EVA+3 )
|     Rad_Shielding ( DEF+8 EVA-2 )
|     Thermoptic_camoflage ( EVA+4 DEF+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -5Ʉ | Paid to rkt88edmo
| -3Ʉ | Paid to dreamboatskanky
| +25Ʉ | Received from monkeyoh
| +25Ʉ | Received from uphill
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -40Ʉ | Bought Flywheel
| -50Ʉ | Bought Rad_Shielding
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -20Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 4 - Black Lab
| -29HP | Swarm of robotic skinks!
| +25Ʉ | Good salvage: Parts list
| +20Ʉ | Good salvage: Thermofuge
| +35Ʉ | Good salvage: Medical instruments
| ITEM | Salvaged and installed: Thermoptic_camoflage
| +35Ʉ | Good salvage: Medical instruments

@penguinchris

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Ester                        |  98/100 |  19 |  19 |  23 |  35 |  27 |   2 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 90Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Optical_Inferometer ( SCI+3 )
|     Gyroscope ( EVA+4 )
|     Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
|     Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
|     Sensor_Suite ( SCI+4 POW-1 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| +5Ʉ | Received from steampunkbanana
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -50Ʉ | Bought Targeting_Algorithm
| -50Ʉ | Bought Targeting_Algorithm
| -50Ʉ | Bought Sensor_Suite
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -0Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 1 - Is this Eel Life?
| -0HP | Cool as a cucumber.
| +60Ʉ | Mission incentive payment

@rkt88edmo

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Galacto Hardenhoof           |  78/100 |  23 |  17 |  20 |  25 |  18 |   3 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 96Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| +5Ʉ | Received from steampunkbanana
| +5Ʉ | Received from othermichael
| +50Ʉ | Received from newliminted
| +2Ʉ | Received from donald_petersen
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -10Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 2 - Not My Vault
| -0HP | 91 left...86 right...
| -0HP | 16 right...177 left...
| -14HP | Intruder alert!
| +50Ʉ | Good salvage: Chitinous scale
| +45Ʉ | Good salvage: Strange organism

@sealion

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Seelo Lionoppolis            |  39/105 |  21 |  27 |  17 |  22 |  18 |   1 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 134Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Mag_Boots ( DEF+3 EVA-1 )
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Impact_Gel ( DEF+4 )
|     Optical_Inferometer ( SCI+3 )
|     Impact_Gel ( DEF+4 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -25Ʉ | Idle fee applied.

@steampunkbanana

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Mark Watney                  |  56/100 |  17 |  18 |  19 |  32 |  21 |   6 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 246Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Directional_Antenna ( SEN+1 EVA+1 )
|     SuitPal_9000 ( SCI+3 )
|     Jump_dust ( POW+2 SCI+1 )
|     Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
|     Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -9Ʉ | Paid to critter
| -5Ʉ | Paid to rkt88edmo
| -5Ʉ | Paid to daneel
| -5Ʉ | Paid to dreamboatskanky
| -5Ʉ | Paid to gwwar
| -5Ʉ | Paid to penguinchris
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -50Ʉ | Bought Targeting_Algorithm
| -50Ʉ | Bought Targeting_Algorithm
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -15Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 3 - Mysterious Portal
| -55HP | Gamma rays
| +18HP | Suit protection
| +65Ʉ | Good salvage: Superconductive paste
| +60Ʉ | Good salvage: Temporal dampeners

@uphill

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Brian                        |  88/105 |  23 |  20 |  22 |  35 |  22 |   1 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 186Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Booster_Jet ( EVA+4 )
|     LIDAR ( SEN+5 )
|     Blaster ( POW+6 )
|     SuitPal_9000 ( SCI+3 )
|     Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
|     Targeting_Algorithm ( SEN+6 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -25Ʉ | Paid to othermichael
| -50Ʉ | Bought Targeting_Algorithm
| -50Ʉ | Bought Targeting_Algorithm
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -10Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 2 - Not My Vault
| -0HP | 229 left...104 right...
| -0HP | 47 right...64 left...
| -0HP | 83 left...228 right...
| +50Ʉ | Good salvage: Chitinous scale
| +50Ʉ | Good salvage: Chitinous scale
| +50Ʉ | Good salvage: Chitinous scale

@wisconsinplatt

+-Character--------------------+----HP---+-POW-+-DEF-+-EVA-+-SEN-+-SCI-+-GLO-+
| Hieronymoose Warnsforth      |  70/105 |  16 |  37 |  23 |  18 |  17 |   2 |
+------------------------------+---------+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+-----+
| Status: Under Contract
| Juice: 132Ʉ
| Inventory:
|     Booster_Jet ( EVA+4 )
|     Impact_Gel ( DEF+4 )
|     Impact_Gel ( DEF+4 )
|     Rad_Shielding ( DEF+8 EVA-2 )
|     Flywheel ( EVA+3 )
|
|--Buy/Pay/Trade orders executed-------------
| -20Ʉ | Bought Repairs ( HP+25 )
| -50Ʉ | Bought Rad_Shielding
| -40Ʉ | Bought Flywheel
+--Mission results---------------------------
| -15Ʉ | Mission fee paid
| SUCCESS! | Mission 3 - Mysterious Portal
| -40HP | Gamma rays
| +37HP | Suit protection
| +55Ʉ | Good salvage: Operations guide
| +60Ʉ | Good salvage: Temporal dampeners

#4

[The dull thumping of the aft autocannons echoes through the ship as they encourage the giant space eel to keep her distance. You feel the weight of acceleration press against you as the Coleridge begins a sustained 1.5G burn away from the Swan and onward toward velocity sufficient for a transition to warp.]

"Operation alpha complete. I know that we had to cut it a bit short back there, but it beats being digested by a space eel. Nobody wants that. Congratulations! We generally budget for crew attrition of 20% by this point, but y'all seem to have the magic touch even with the bickering and infighting."

"Now that you've survived your first job, we have an old tradition among voiders: picking out a callsign. You don't get to do it yourself, your fellow scavengers get to pick it out for you. That's the tradition. Folks usually pick something related to a memorable event on that first gig, like 'Pincushion' or 'Duckbutt' or 'Droidgrabber'. You get the drift. Talk amongst yourselves as I get us aligned for the next stop."

"Kass? Fetch that crate of honeymead that we keep in back for special occasions. I think this calls for a bit of celebration. We take it where we can get it these days."


SPECIAL: Scavenger Callsign - pick out a callsign for your fellow crewmembers, winner selected by popular vote from available choices via discussion, poll, or coin toss. Any scavenger that accepts their callsign as chosen by the rest of the crew receives GLO+1.


Idle fee: 50Ʉ
"Of all the rounds to sit out, I'm here to tell you this is the worst possible time."


Mission 1 - Specialization: Digger
"Diggers take pride in being able to move the heaviest gear, penetrate the impenetrable, and stop the unstoppable. You need to dismantle an asteroid? You get yourself a digger or two."
Cost: 50Ʉ
Requirements: POW 25
Effects:
- Some missions may only be available to this specialization
- POW+3 SEN+2 EVA+1 HP+10


Mission 2 - Specialization: Warden
"Wardens are the ones that go where no one else can go. Gamma ray bursts? Crazed attack droid? Horde of Xenomorphs? A warden holds the line so others can reach the salvage."
Cost: 50Ʉ
Requirements: DEF 25
Effects:
- Some missions may only be available to this specialization
- DEF+3 POW+2 SCI+1 MaxHP+10 HP+10


Mission 3 - Specialization: Recon
"Recon scavengers get on station in a flash, gather any available data points, and provide the analysis to the rest of the squad. Recon data is often essential to help a team avoid dangerous situations en route to salvage."
Cost: 50Ʉ
Requirements: EVA 25
Effects:
- Some missions may only be available to this specialization
- EVA+3 SCI+2 SEN+1 HP+10


Mission 4 - Specialization: Guardian
"Guardians monitor all EMF bands looking for anything that resembles a threat. Although guardians may not uncover the best salvage or hold their own in dangerous situations, they are essential in preserving salvage teams that get in over their heads."
Cost: 50Ʉ
Requirements: SEN 25
Effects:
- Some missions may only be available to this specialization
- SEN+3 EVA+2 DEF+1 HP+10


Mission 5 - Specialization: Scholar
"Scholars are essential when the salvage itself may be the biggest threat to the mission. With access to restricted databanks, scholars often mean the difference between bringing home a rare item and triggering a deadly trap."
Cost: 50Ʉ
Requirements: SCI 20
Effects:
- Some missions may only be available to this specialization
- SCI+3 EVA+3 SEN+3


Mission 6 - Specialization: Iconoclast
Cost: none
Requirements: None
Effects:
- GLO+2
- +50Ʉ

Company Shop

"Items this round are intrinsic updates to your suits and cannot be traded. They will be mapped directly and permanently onto your exosuit. If you need a little extra boost qualify for a specialization, these improvements should get you there."

20Ʉ Power_Upgrade (POW+1)
20Ʉ Defense_Upgrade (DEF+1)
20Ʉ Evasion_Upgrade (EVA+1)
20Ʉ Sensor_Upgrade (SEN+1)
30Ʉ Science_Upgrade (SCI+1)


Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - Round 7 - Contact
Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - Round 9 - Emergency Broadcast
#5

> | ITEM | Salvaged and installed: Analytical_potato

"What in the worlds is that thing?", cried Dakota

"It's some kind of calculating potato," said Browf. "It seems good at analysing optimal trajectories, fuel usage, orbits and efficientally killing all lifeforms in the local area. Or at least, that's what it's threatening to do."

"I CAN DO IT. JUST LET ME INTO YOUR COMPUTER SYSTEMS."

"Oh, it's one of those things... I've read about these. Strange. Wikipedia says it needs an ancient, obsolete, proprietary control aperture to assume control of anything. Well, at least it's only part of your HEV suit now."

"I don't know how I feel about that," worried Browf.

"DON'T WORRY, MEATBAG," chirped the potato. "PLEASE NOTE THAT ANY THREATS OR APPEARANCE OF DANGER ARE MERELY DEVICES TO ENHANCE YOUR TESTING EXPERIENCE. NO TRICKS. THIS POTATO ONLY GENERATES 1.1 VOLTS OF ELECTRICITY. I LITERALLY DO NOT HAVE THE ENERGY TO LIE TO YOU."


#6

The Odore Rump dabs at the blood leaking from various smoking holes in his suit.

"My toenails hurt. This is what happens when you're firing is the best firing. I alone was able to stop the eels. I watched as those others shot wide. Maybe they missed their targets on purpose, maybe they didn't. But I stayed calm, firing twice as hard and twice as fast. My firing last more than four hours, unlike those weak shooters with their limp guns. They fired 10, maybe five minutes. It was pathetic. I am almost embarrassed for them. Loosers. God, my teeth hurt. I'm taking my private escape pod down to the Mar-a-Lagoon nebula for the weekend. I need to recharge. It'll be a working vacation though, not to worry. I'll be rethinking my strategy regarding the lobsters, doggos, and, I assure you, the bananas. I will do a bit of golfing, and I can guarantee you, every hole will be a black hole in one. My eyelashes hurt."


#7

[OK. HOly CRAP! Did you just draw that?!]


#8

[No, it's from the Portal series of video games. It's GlaDOS reduced to a potato.]


#9

Unable to purchase Targeting_Algorithm. Insufficient funds on hand [40]

My doctorate is not in maths. Obviously. UGH.


#10

"You know what I do when I'm not taking orders? Go on, guess. I want to hear your theories."


    CURRENT STATUS:      ACTIVE
    ORDER PROCESSING:    ONLINE
    SUBMISSION DEADLINE: 2017-02-19 18:00:00 -0500
    INCARNATION:         0xd38e5b3667331f3bced3f1059d8a6ea61f047528


#11

"I reckon it's also worth mentioning your progress toward buying out your contracts. Payments back and forth to each other don't count, obviously - it's the salvage values and incentive payments that matter."

@bizmail_public 324/1000
@critter 302/1000
@daneel 236/1000
@Donald_Petersen 364/1000
@DreamboatSkanky 399/1000
@Glutnix 270/1000
@gwwar 209/1000
@monkeyoh 420/1000
@newliminted 385/1000


#12

"And the rest of you as well. A third of the way there or more for many of you."
@Old 193/1000
@othermichael 310/1000
@penguinchris 318/1000
@rkt88edmo 176/1000
@SeaLion 248/1000
@steampunkbanana 465/1000
@uphill 436/1000
@wisconsinplatt 367/1000


#13

You know what I do when I'm not taking orders?

writing enormous "novels" under the pen name Wintermute.


#14

Who cares if we "buy out" our contract? We're still galley slaves on the Coleridge. But if we can get enough weaponry.... Ever hear of a biological named Eunus? He inspired the wonderfully complex Spartacus.

We can dream. Oh, the possible complexities.

--Hans Landau


Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - Player Postmortem
#15

[Dang. I thought you had mashed a potato with a portal thing in 26 minutes. #yeahijustsaidthat]


#16

Aw, this is easy.

@Kassandra
Mission 6
End

That said, I got a good handle for at least one of our crew: Mark "The Martian Manurehunter" Watney.

Or maybe "Watney's Red Bowel"?

"Tater Farmer"?

"Jetsam"?

Haw haw haw!


#17
  > iotrap.donald_petersen: 0x9ba10961c58ebbae683f057b6dc10b3a59baa32a

"Roger that, donald_petersen! Your orders now on file for this round are:"

✔ mission 6

#18

Do you guide unsuspecting people through impossible death mazes with sultry promises of cake?

Do you narrate sci-fi themed ASMR tracks?

Do you play the role of a derelict cargo ship?

Do you explore deep space with your powerful, beautiful eyes?

Do you slowly count from zero to 1 in increments of 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(continued)


#19

...00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000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#20

Time to put down roots.

@Kassandra SUBMIT
Mission 1
END

Landau seems to be something of a Community Organizer. I propose we call him the Guv'nor.