Badass Dragons of the Wasteland - Round 2 Results! (at long last)

It’s stashed in the door panel in a holder I made a few years back out in Idaho. I’d run into a band of bikers calling themselves The Blackhearts (I assume after the potato affliction) and after the .45 ran out of shots I grabbed the next best thing on the seat next to me and smashed a few in various locations before they finally let me drive on.

After that it’s become a pretty decent close in weapon that’s worked well. Sometimes a knife is just too subtle.


Please tell me that during the dream sequence when Knife hovered between the grime of this world and the soft-focus pure light of the next, He saw this:


I think you have the wrong “A Boy and His Dog

Surely they revered this woman:

I know I do.

Right, @Donald_Petersen, I’ve got an idea.

“Perky” she’s called. Lister built 50 of 'em back in '14, rare as hen’s teeth. Called a ‘Knobbly’.

Can’t yet leave these lovely open-tops behind. Good all-round vision, easy to flail arms around, shoot stuff.

This is what she looks like on paper:

0 - 60 in 4.3 secs
Tops out at 181 mph
Jaguar D-Type engine, 3,781cc, bore and stroke 87mm x 107mm, cast iron block and bullet-proof.
Aluminum body (see? I’m starting to cross the cultural Atlantic)
Max power 330 bhp
Peak torque 295 lbs ft

And I reckon she’s a Scout.

It’s in my blood. When I was a lad, I thought spying on the Shankill Road was just a game my Dad invented. When my big brother fled to the angels while out one night with that old bastard, I slowly caught on. Left home at 13, joined up at 17 where I’d heard they didn’t ask too many questions. Keeping an eye on things meant taking my mind off things, and I gained a talent for it. Ha, eh?

A call to alms, if I may - if anyone’s feeling loving, tender feelings towards yours truly, or just keen to have a bloody good shot keeping them company, please do help decorate Perky with whatever spare bits of kit you have about. Perky and I will give our strongest promise to show our appreciation in the most helpful way.


Pinky and Perky, eh, Major?


Just about all I was allowed to watch on the b&w. Think fondly of 'em every time I get hold of some bacon.


Who the hell doesn’t? I suspect they came after me in the first place because I’d had “I Hate Myself For Loving You” just a little too loud during their yearly picnic. And the fact that I’d driven through the middle of it.

What? I wanted a piece of cake but didn’t have time to chit chat.

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I think I’ve one LP to my name, but once we all recover, get this chains and chain guns mounted and plan the next move, I will see what I can send your way.

But, uh,his new car of yours, is she a…goer…eh? Does she, er, does she ‘go’ - eh?


I’ll certainly do what I can for you, since your fine work up in Hollywood helped my ass out of the sling. Just waiting to hear what we were able to pull out of the old Starkworks before I can figure out how to parcel out some loot.


One look at those curves and I was gone, that’s for sure!


~Clank checks for those two buckets of scrap metal that were supposed to be used for screamer bait, hoping he remembered to actually throw them out at the right time, but planning (in case he didn’t) to see if they might somehow be useful as upgrades for those fellow drivers whose rides didn’t make it through the last mission.~

I got me 3LPs that I somehow saved from the last payout, I’m prepared to share what I got left to help out them as didn’t ~chokes back a sob~ make it back.

((ooc: @penguinchris @JonasEggeater I don’t know if it came through with all the accounting and confusion toward the end of the last thread, but I got a small refund from Stretch based on mechanic work I had paid him for that I could have done myself.))


Say no more!


^-- even Rex approves.


Gonville De’Ath : Mood : Apologetic

Well, here’s a dilemma, and no mistake (great cars, them Dilemmas).

I signed on to this party as an Escort (titter ye not!), and the very first time out, the chap I’m riding shotgun for ends up with his bally wheels shot off. Egg on m’face or what? What an appalling cock-up - I feel frightfully embarrassed. Can’t very much be an escort if m’clients keep on ending up joining the choir invisible, can I?

Knife - if you decide to postpone the long walk, I’ll gladly pass an LP your way to help you get your new ride up to scratch. Ditto for the Major (@peregrinus_bis) and McG (@awjt). Unus pro omnibus, omnes pro uno, what?

I’d offer Rex as well, but, well, he’s sitting here slobbering all over my priceless leather interior, and, awww, shucks, just look at him! Could you give this away? I just hope he doesn’t turn out like Lucky the Seeing Eye Dog.


This is what’s left. I don’t see how any amount of LP are going to fix this!

I’m lucky to have crawled out of the wreckage with my damn life, clutching a shard of a pancake.


((ooc. Are the LP’s already reflected on the chart? aka. does my 7 LP include the new 5 ones?))

If ever I’d felt ashamed of a decision I’d made it would’ve been this one. I figured that I’d help out you know? I’m fast and sometimes faster and with the other missions full I figured I could help out. Better late than never and all that. 'Guess that was a mistake… My last-minute decision meant I got all my teammates hurt. And now I see not one but two others lost their vehicles in their missions… Just breaks my heart to see that you know. I can’t imagine being without Twister yaknow?

Honestly thought I was doing the right thing joining my brothers and sisters out there on mission two, but turns out no good deed goes unpunished. I should’ve just stayed back here and waited it out, bein as late as I was. Well I’d like to try and make it up to you lot.
I sure hope you can forgive me bein so ras. Sometimes the speed just messes with my mind yanno? I forget I’m not so fast that I can outrun everything, or help everyone else outrun them. Sorry guys…

So that means 1LP to @Solomon, 1LP to @Mister44, 1LP to @monsterzerozero and 1LP to @kingannoy. That is, if you’ll have them?


¡Ay madre! Man, tough breaks for Major and McGee, and I’m sorry I don’t got any placas to pass on. I’d feel guilty about my daring escape from danger, if I didn’t almost get wiped out by another aquatic phenomenon on the previous run.

It all comes out in the wash, or the colada, as they say.

Oh, and of course there were my fresh rhymes, too, a curse against the APC’s that I didn’t have to face.

Ya murió la Cucaracha
ya la llevan a enterrar,
entre cuatro zopilotes
y un ratón de sacristán.


You’ve got nothing to apologize for, Honey.

Jane put out a last minute call for drivers, you answered at the last minute. No shame in that. The reality is that Mission 2 was a hastily organized pot-luck that got lucky. Bully for the Mission 2 crew! But putting a guilt trip on a newcomer because there were a few bumps in the road is unkind, inaccurate, and distracting.

The reality is that we each have far less control than we like. Consider the Mission 3 crew.

We were all veterans on that crew. We planned carefully, and succeeded. Along the way, The Major and Dorcas fought like hell, but today Hell fought back. So it goes. They aren’t wasting time or axle grease blaming anybody. They’re just getting ready for the next fight. Blaming a newcomer for bad luck doesn’t help with that.

Here’s my advice: Get in your car and DRIVE. If Jane or anybody else doesn’t like your style, to hell with 'em.

– Bubba Zanetti.