I'm from the government.
I'm with the National Security Agency.
You may have heard about our new fantastic data centers that we built out in the middle of nowhere, and now I can tell you what they are all about. We're proud to be on the forefront of our nations progress and through technology, we have begun the great task of creating revenue by reporting and controlling the use of information.
I'd like to tell you about this new program we currently offer under our new revenue generation enhancement program .
For a negotiated fee, we can and will provide you with a file which will contain all information about the subject you specify. You specify target parameters, we look at only those parameters and create a detailed report. Complexity determines fee.
The NSA does not make claims of either right or wrongdoing, we only provide the information.
What the original entity does with this information is entirely up to that entity.
**Attention: If criminal activity is determined at any time, law enforcement may become involved. This includes all government entities that are coupled with enforcement responsibilities up to and including major branches like the Department of Justice, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Internal Revenue Service.***
There's my one brilliant idea per day. take it and do what you will