I know better than to ‘go after’ my earwax with Q-tips, etc., but…oh, MAN, would I like to have a little Tupperware of those grubs in my fridge.
My ear canals are ITCHING like they have ants in them right now, but I know I can’t scratch… They’re full of dust and pollen and wind-borne, abrasive things that have stuck to my earwax, drying it up into little hard, crumbly boogers, and I know I can’t scratch…
I’ve had ears itchy from sawdust, concrete mix, sand, sand, and more sand, and I know I can’t scratch…but, oh. Oh, do I want to s c r a t c h !
Edit: Apparently, the nannies object to the word ‘scratch’, if written with emphasis.
Ohh this reminds me of the bug eating through eardrum -scene in the so-so historical adventure flick ‘Mountains of the Moon’ (1990). Sadly I can’t find a video of it. Perhaps for the best.
Oh, I’ve become inured to the situation. It’s the price one pays for being an ‘outdoor kid’. I just wish that it was okay to ream out one’s ears with Q-tips.
You wouldn’t believe how disgusting my ear plugs get. I actually wash them, they get so gross.
So … I get a regular wax buildup that needs to be removed about every year or so. I used to go to the doc to get it syringed, and found it … sensual. The warm water swirling around in my ear is borderline erotic.
ahem TMI? You’re welcome.
Despite enjoying it perhaps all too much, going to the docs is kind of a pain, so I got one of these
I used it for a long time in the shower, and it got the wax out just great. The problem is that I strongly suspect it has left me with tinnitus. There are a couple of other potential suspects, but this is the strongest.
Apparently the state of the art currently is vacuuming it out, which really does need a visit to the doc’s office.
Don’t fuck around with your hearing. Tinnitus sucks. Go see a professional.
After any time you wet the inside of your ear, put in three drops of common vinegar. It’s important for people with narrow ear canals and can save you from becoming half deaf like me. You can use alcohol, too, but vinegar is preferred (by me, at least).
@RedFury, @jhml, @LutherBlisset : the events dramatized in “mountains of the moon” are contested, but this is what I believe happened. Burton and Speke set out to find the source of the Nile; Burton was already a very famous adventurer but Speke not so much. Speke had a carnivorous insect enter his ear and freaked out, refusing to let Burton pour molten candlewax into his ear to kill the noisy bug. As the insect continued to gnaw into his head, Speke became increasingly agitated, and eventually began plunging a knife into his ear which killed the insect but caused a near-lethal infection. Burton stopped the expedition long enough to nurse Speke back to health, during which time Burton himself became ill with a tropical fever. Speke recovered and left Burton behind in the care of natives, going on to find the source of the Nile and claiming primacy of discovery for himself. Burton never forgave him, and spent years assassinating Speke’s character and sabotaging his business dealings. Eventually Speke died in what was probably an accident, but which both Burton and Burton’s enemies claimed was a suicide caused by Burton’s unforgiving and relentless harrassment.
Well, if you like to get medical advice from random weirdos on the internet, may I suggest getting your cholesterol checked. One side of my family gradually goes deaf simply because cholesterol starts accumulating in dumb places. Like the little capillaries that supply the inner ears. And the eyeballs, and…
Seriously, I have barely visible arcus senilis on the very tippy-top edge of my irises, and usually people don’t start getting it until they’re in their seventies. I’m starting to lose my hearing, but since I wasn’t a big concert-goer, I still have a lot to lose.
