I encountered a big upset today, when I took a question somebody asked me and forked it to another topic. I feel badly to have angered some people, but I feel worse that those concerned said that I should have known that this was obviously a horrible thing to do. It is a situation that I have, in all honesty, never encountered here before. So I want to ask what you all think.
This is not about the topic or the individuals involved. I am not trying to “lawyer” the perceived merits of the deleted topic. What I am interested in is a discussion of the etiquette behind the complaints of those concerned, so that I can understand what sort of transgression they were upset about.
I know that some of us can be quite verbose, including me. So I was happy to encounter the “reply as linked topic” feature, which I try to use to prevent in-depth replies which veer off of the main topic from derailing it for other participants. Nobody has ever complained to me about this before. But today, I forked off of a busy topic when a few people started grilling me about a very specific thing which hinted at a whole other big discussion. When I did, the person who I quoted - who was asking me a question - explained that they wanted me to not quote them, and asserted their right to not be part of the discourse. So, I did as they asked. I removed their quote and name, and added a bit of text to the place where the quote was to explain why it was edited. This again I have been told is good etiquette, to explain generally why edits were made. I simply said to the effect that the poster chose to not be involved, and I edited it as per their wishes. And I stated in very general terms what the context of the new topic was, since the original post was now gone.
I got some nasty-ish posts about this, suggesting that I should have known that quoting somebody who didn’t want to be quoted is a flaggable offense. Is it? Do people here usually ask permission explicitly before they quote someone? It wasn’t a PM, or taken out of context. I edited my OP as they asked me to. As a courtesy. Do I have an obligation to not quote somebody when there OT question still exists in the other topic for all to see? If I remove their quote, should the topic still be deleted anyway?
I sent a PM to the active complainer in the topic, and the mod who PMd me to not do it again. That’s fine, but nobody even made clear what the infringement was.
I suppose that it possible that this happens every so often, but I was not aware of it perhaps due to offending topics getting eaten. But it seemed like a unique occurrence to my experience, only to be told that I should know better.
What do you think? Are there special times when it is/isn’t okay to quote somebody? If the quote is removed, should the whole topic then cease to exist? Is creating a separate topic without the involvement of the other participants better? Aiiieee! I hate it when people tell me that their rules are important enough to punish me over, but explain what precisely those rules are!