Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/01/09/behind-the-velvet-rope-hierarc.html
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It would appear that high-C list and low- to mid-B list celebrities don’t get a category. That’s too bad, those are some of the best celebrities!
If you really want to go to the literally hottest restaurants in Manhattan, just go to one of the Chinatown dumpling shops near the courthouses at noon in August (like on Mulberry St). It’s the perfect combination of humid weather, high heat cooking, no A/C, and sweaty three-piece suit-wearing lawyers. Just as steamy a sauna as the Russian & Turkish Baths, plus the food is fresh and delicious and so cheap that you’ll be tempted to never spend money on any other food ever again.
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This describes the sort of place I am unlikely ever to set foot in.
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I don’t think “99th Percentile” means what they think it means, recent news about Harry notwithstanding.
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Over the years we’ve been to a few high-end NYC restaurants. Usually for lunch, because some of the fanciest restaurants in the world have lunch specials.
I’m solidly in the “No Status” group but those few times the restaurants always treated us very well.
No question this hierarchy exists and comes into play if you have the crazy idea of booking a hot place on short notice (or doing a walk-in), but if you reserve well in advance, don’t behave like a jerk and respect the dress code (if any), you should expect excellent service from any high-end restaurant.
Or I don’t know, maybe I look like a celebrity and everyone was nice just in case I was Jeff Goldblum or Danny Devito in disguise.
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Of course the real answer is to give a fake name hence why I always give my name as Abe Froman.
Edit: 50 of you clicked on a link despite knowing exactly where it was going. I love you people.
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how did a schmuck like you get a reservation at Dorcia, Batemen?
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…Anna. Who? I googled it and got a movie. The first name google auto complete gave me was Kendrick.
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Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of Vogue. One of the most powerful people in the fashion industry.
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Well, I have proven myself a Plebe.
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Pfft. Doesn’t matter because I don’t patronize NYC restaurants. Most exclusive is the non-list.
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Yeah, if I had a restaurant and Bill Paxton (bless his soul) or Fred Ward rang up, there would be a table available.
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Hell, for Bill Paxton I would comp the whole meal! The only person who has been killed by a Terminator, a Xenomorph, and a Predator deserves nothing but the best.
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Anyway, what’s all this about booking a table to eat? I phone up my local eateries, and they very nicely bring my order to my door. That’s what I call service!
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The staff at the giro place know me on sight, know my order, and start working on it while I’m in line waiting to “order”. That’s good enough for me.
Pro tip: Always be nice to people who make your food.
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And cut your hair.
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At my peak in the San Francisco restaurant industry, my complete joy was telling folks we do not take reservations, under any circumstances. For years we got burned by aholes not showing, in the end we had our revenge, and yes it was sweet.
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I thought the key was to threaten the maitre d’s job until they relent.
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A decade ago, I put a small (tiny, really) amount of my retirement (the only thing that might be called “liquid” in my life) into a Slow Money investment in helping a friend start an innovative restaurant, ultra-green, documenting relationships of providers to their soils and communities, food miles measured, etc.
Everybody thought I was crazy. Yet, I’ve gotten back a bunch of my investment and continue to earn in many ways.
Financial returns may be low, but we get 1% a year credit towards food, a share of profits (when there are some), and indeed the treatment like royalty. And we are supporting something we care about and get to enjoy the results in many ways. Totally worth it.
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I recall a New Yorker cartoon from a thousand years ago wherein the Maitre D’ queries the well-dressed couple as he checks the reservation book, captioned:
“Are you an actual doctor, or is that a Ph.D.?”
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