Originally published at: Beware the woke banks! | Boing Boing
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I was going to add some witty comment about asleep banks…
Then I looked at the time, and realized it is past my bedtime.
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Too bad most ATMs don’t give out $10 bills or we could make it play Hamilton songs!
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We probably need some sort of quota or affirmative action policy to ensure white, cisgender, straight guys are adequately represented on bank boards of directors.
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I couldn’t honesty tell that this was satire until I read the thread. I was like “what kind of creep lurks around the ATM after their transaction is over?”
My woke bank does! Not only will it allow you to take out, say $50, but if you take out $60, you get two tens and two twenties. Very convenient!
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The ATM I used yesterday gave out hundreds. WTF?
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Ooh, la la. Fancy pants with $100 bills over here. 
Seriously, it still makes me super nervous to get a $100 bill.
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It went right to the car repair guy. Who gave me a cash discount.
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The last time I took out a significant amount of cash it was for the exact same purpose.
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It was weird having to crouch down to have to hand it to him under the table. But I can respect tradition.
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My guy has a sign on his desk saying it out loud. I’m like, “I don’t know if it’s a great idea to broadcast that, dude.”
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“the ATM takes a few extra minutes to tell me the true history of the founding father on the bills I have just withdrawn. You will not believe some of these guys!”
I mean, that’s actually true!
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