Originally published at: Beware the woke banks! | Boing Boing
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I was going to add some witty comment about asleep banks…
Then I looked at the time, and realized it is past my bedtime.
Too bad most ATMs don’t give out $10 bills or we could make it play Hamilton songs!
We probably need some sort of quota or affirmative action policy to ensure white, cisgender, straight guys are adequately represented on bank boards of directors.
I couldn’t honesty tell that this was satire until I read the thread. I was like “what kind of creep lurks around the ATM after their transaction is over?”
My woke bank does! Not only will it allow you to take out, say $50, but if you take out $60, you get two tens and two twenties. Very convenient!
The ATM I used yesterday gave out hundreds. WTF?
Ooh, la la. Fancy pants with $100 bills over here.
Seriously, it still makes me super nervous to get a $100 bill.
It went right to the car repair guy. Who gave me a cash discount.
The last time I took out a significant amount of cash it was for the exact same purpose.
It was weird having to crouch down to have to hand it to him under the table. But I can respect tradition.
My guy has a sign on his desk saying it out loud. I’m like, “I don’t know if it’s a great idea to broadcast that, dude.”
“the ATM takes a few extra minutes to tell me the true history of the founding father on the bills I have just withdrawn. You will not believe some of these guys!”
I mean, that’s actually true!
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