Billionaire Dies in Pursuit of Bigger Penis

(There’s gotta be a better headline for this)

According to media reports, Laniado suffered from a so-called Napoleon complex due his short stature.

An old friend of Laniado who wished to remain anonymous said he was known as “the Argentinian” at Omega Diamonds “because he looked like a tango dancer."

The old friend said that Laniado was “always focused on his appearance and how others perceived him.”

According to Laniado’s friends, the only time he forgot about his short height was when he asked his accountant to read out his bank statement, something which he did multiple times a day, it was reported.

Laniado reportedly owned the most expensive penthouse in Monaco worth over 30 million pounds (approx. $39.4 million) as well as a house in the plush L.A. suburb of Bel Air, where he loved to drink bottles of Chateau Margaux with models and celebrities.

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The poor insecure man (not literally poor obviously).

I am surprised that the best The Sun could come up with was “Diamond Geezer” but I suppose given a story like that there are limits to what you can publish.

Oddly enough your link goes to FOX News. I know they are owned by the same person but I wasn’t aware they’d given up all pretence.

Amusingly, it contains at the end of the story a link “click here for more from the Sun” which takes you to:

Which provides a shorter version of the Fox news story with fewer details, for example leaving out the legal difficulties. So rather, click here for less from The Sun.

The billionaire, whose exact fortune is not publicly known, got in trouble with the authorities in 2013.

He faced claim for 4 billion British pounds (approx. $5.2 billion) from the Belgian authorities for tax evasion on diamonds illegally imported from Congo and Angola, Belgian’s GVA reported.

Laniado reportedly prevented a tax evasion trial by agreeing to pay 137.7 pounds.

Bargain!

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Yeah, odiousness all around that way, which is why I quoted a lot of the story. I know most bbsers aren’t down with Fox clicks.

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(There’s gotta be a better headline for this)

Billionaire diamond trader, 65, dies during penis enlargement surgery

TOP ROCK HAWKER PUNCHES CLOCK OVER MOCK COCK

(Also, this is tabloid garbage that doesn’t need clicks.)

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Ditto the Sun.

Odd that. It’s almost as if there is something about both organisations that makes them behave in particularly vile ways. I wonder what it could be? /s

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Headline is ambiguous. Please clarify whose penis he was pursuing.

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I hereby acknowledge that the line between tabloid garbage and poetic justice can be mighty, mighty thin.

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I think you mean “which”.

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Ding Dong Dies During Long Schlong Gone Wrong

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Manhood Inflation Fails to Bring Longer Life to Billionaire’s Personal Short Comings

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“That poor, poor man. But he did go in a bigly way. I mean, not a hugely way in that way. He wasn’t bigly like me, right folks?”

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The penis rejected him.

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Big shot’s ticker stops during pecker op

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I genuinely feel bad for this guy. I am imagining there must have been some humiliating experiences with partners that potentially contributed to this.

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The article suggests he was generally insecure about his physicality. My wild guess would be that it stemmed from upbringing.

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most likely it started there and was the major contributing factor…I am thinking there may well have been a personal interaction that could have tipped him to go over the edge.

In general, regardless of source…I feel badly for anyone that has such low self esteem and sense of self that they resort to such extreme measures to find some self happiness and acceptance.

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You’d think a person of his resources could just find a mistress with a smaller vagina.

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I hope other people don’t armchair psycho-analyze him based solely on a mean-spirited tabloid article write-up. Their whole thing is that he should be ridiculed for being short and getting cosmetic surgery; they’re not dunking on him for being a billionaire.

It’s like laughing at someone who died getting breast implants for being flat-chested. Not the point, and the same shit that makes people want cosmetic plastic surgery in the first place.

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What, you think vaginas are the one human body part that comes in a single standardized size?

(Granted, the relative size of sexual organs isn’t usually one of the most important factors in sexual pleasure anyway)

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