"Would you like to participate in test marketing our new slogan? Do you think updating “Life is better when we’re connected” to “Life is better when we’re a vacuum” obviously and forthrightly implying that we suck meets or exceeds your expectations for a bank? Would such a slogan increase your trust in BoA because we are honest and forthright?
[I loved your comment, and wanted to add my own fan art. Hope you don’t mind]
There was a time when I opened 3 Wells Fargo accounts several months apart from each other; one for me, one for my girlfriend, and finally a joint account. All were advertised as no fee. WF sent the exact same form letter each time regretfully informing me that these accounts would now have to have fees. Bait and Switch.
You did see the “of America” in their name, right. 
That’s what they do. That’s what they all do. They drill your box!
Oh, in that case, I’d like to leave a ‘deposit’
Swiss banks care a more about their reputation than American ones.
‘silent partner’
How about opening a can of Surströmming and leaving that in the box for them?
Aww come on, they’re still 98-99% safe! Most people have no problems at all - why focus on the negative?
How perfectly apposite. You may win today’s internet.
Back in the old days, you needed a complex plan.
The original article did not mention whether these customers called the police. They should have; this is a bank robbery, even if the bank did it.
I don’t understand how you can expect the bank to be financially liable for the contents when by design they have no knowledge of what’s in them at any time.
That’s not to take the bank off the hook entirely. They take on some responsibility by simply offering the use of them. But it’s a tricky situation it seems to me. Balancing privacy and self service with security.
Exactly. Someone at the bank is a bank robber. The police need to investigate the robbery and find out who did it. Bank robbery is a federal crime is it not? Time for the FBI to get involved.
It’s like sending a package. You give an approximate value of content for insurance payment purposes. That number is held privately with confidence by the bank accessible to very few people.
The bank then keeps an access record separately for the box and a watch of who enters or exits the storage area to retrieve boxes for patrons and offers a secure area for them to use the box.
There must be some good faith between the bank and the customer, though. That the bank will keep good records and the customer isn’t lying about the contents.
Then it’s just a simple audit when something like this happens. The list of people with access to the boxes and knowledge of content value should be very short.
Insurance cuts a check and law enforcement goes after whoever is taking people’s stuff.
betcha some government division (maybe IRS?) did it and bank is under gag order like a FISA warrant where even libraries get records seized and not allowed to tell patrons
not saying the government drilled the right box or for the right reasons, it’s not like the “deep state” actually exists where there is competence and a plan, just lazy, over-aggressive people wildly abusing their law enforcement powers as usual (just look at TSA or ICE or your local police, etc.)
I think I see the flaw in your otherwise excellent scheme.
I cut BofA (Bank of A------s) years ago, when I discovered a couple of small fake charges on the account, followed by a big charge. None of them were mine. I went to the bank for help and was directed to a wall phone, which connected me with a call center in India. When I described what happened, the “customer service” person giggled. I asked him if he thought identity theft was funny. He could barely giggle out the word “yes.” I hung up the phone and cancelled all my accounts. We use a credit union now.
