BoA customers: "My safe deposit box is empty!" BoA: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/07/26/boa-customers-my-safe-depos.html

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Two words: credit union.

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Finding one with safety deposit boxes is a pain though. We have a an account with a 2nd credit union specifically for one and it is the only one in the area that has them.

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I wonder if this would seriously impede Jason Bourne?

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My guess is inside job. Someone’s probably copying keys before they’re handed out.

I’ll bet Wells Fargo’s senior crooks upper management is relieved it’s not them for a change. Who am I kidding? They probably wish they’d thought of it first.

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cool ! I finally know where to put stuff I cant rid of and nobody wants.

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did any one feel that ? it was like disturbance in the force like millions of voices screaming ouit at once …no wait it was just one it was satoshi nakomoto . yelling wheres my box. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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As revenge, I’d certainly buy myself a few pounds of fish, pay my box six months ahead, and walk away. They can’t drill it (well, perhaps they can?) until it’s been unpaid for several months. It would smell very nice.

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Amen. I just paid off the last of my credit card debt, which was the only thing tying me to a big bank. I’m never looking back. They are the worst, most disreputable institutions in America.

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But there’s such good competition for that title these days!

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Under what conceivable circumstances is the bank not fucking liable for the full value of what was in the box?

ETA: “Thanks for letting us know”?! Jesus Christ, what ever happened to “We are very sorry”? For that matter, what happened to “This is intolerable. We are vigorously investigating to determine who stole your items and how”?

They’re a fucking bank, they have security cameras everywhere you can put security cameras, there are only a limited number of people with access to the fucking boxes, all of them employees of the bank, one of them is a thief, you’d think they would give a fucking damn about that.

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You never know, man: There could be some sort of spy hole system built in somewhere, as part of their security, and when the manager spots easily sold valuables, they just go missing and the bank stonewalls and makes the complaints disappear into the bureaucracy.

This is, after all, one of the banks that flat out stole people’s houses and assets with the assistance of local constabulary, and never gave anything back.

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Contracts, mostly. Always read the fine print, and get insurance.

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American citizens: “My safe deposit box is empty!”

America: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Isn’t that the the plot of an episode of Maverick?

image

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What I don’t get is: why would anyone do business with the likes of a bank after 2008?

They’ve shown over and over that your money and now your valuables aren’t safe with them and that it’s a bad investment.

Why not put ylur money in something solid and reliable, like penny stocks, or tender vittles?

At least they only would intend to steal your shit about half the time, instead of every time.

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That first movie would’ve been way shorter

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Only a sucker would do business with BOA–But there’s one born every minute. There are some good regional banks, but you do have to do your homework.

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“My safe deposit box is empty!”

“Actually, we just call them deposit boxes now.”

“You what?”

“They’ve been rebranded. An internal study revealed that when we put the word ‘safe’ in front of the word ‘deposit’, it created certain expectations in customers’ minds.”

“Expectations?”

“Yes, the word ‘safe’ led customers to believe that things placed in the boxes would be, well, safe. Which is to say that they’d actually be there when the customer came back.”

“And …”

“Well, as you’ve just discovered, that’s not the case at all. And customer trust is very important to us. Rather than mislead customers by using the word ‘safe’ to describe boxes that were not safe in the least, we decided to drop the word from the product title.”

“I …”

“We call them ‘deposit boxes’ now. Because you can deposit things in them. Isn’t that great? One simple phrase tells you exactly what the product offers. Our branding division are so thrilled with this, I can’t begin to tell you. Anyway, is there anything else I can help you with?”

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Large banks keep getting less and less sensible. We had a Well’s Fargo Savings account for my kid that suddenly started getting charged a fee despite it not being in the original account agreement. I’d call them each month, they’d remove it with another vague excuse and then it would happen again. So I closed the account.

Now they’ve started charging fees if we deposit more than an approved number of checks a month in our checking account. Looks like that one is about to go too.

And they seem confused and even offended when I call them, remind them that those fees never existed on the account and sometimes go so far as acting like removing the fee is a favor to me.

But I guess they know the hassle of having to switch over each direct debit and payment I have is still more of a hassle than the monthly chew out. I can only hope I’m causing them to lose enough wages in customer support hours to roll back the profits on some other person’s fees as well.

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