Bomb squad called to hospital after patient reports WWII mortar lodged in his rectum

Originally published at: Bomb squad called to hospital after patient reports WWII mortar lodged in his rectum | Boing Boing

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Consider the source for the article

The MoD told The Sun:

You’re better off believing the bat boy had removed the artillery at Area 51.

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Merry Christmas?

Jeff Goldblum What GIF by The Late Late Show with James Corden

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A soldier is taken hostage by a ruthless terror group who possess a weapon strong enough to change the balance of power throughout the world. A crack team of Special Forces is sent in to rescue him. After a harrowing rescue, extracting the young private from the terrorist team, it is clear that something is wrong with the newly rescued soldier. CIA Agent Ben Cooper discovers the horrible secret, the young rescued private has become the weapon, with a bomb in his butt! As the four men wait out a sandstorm in an abandoned barn, they quickly realize they don’t have anything to disable a bomb. Can Agent Cooper discover a way to disarm the butt bomb? WIll the men discover an innovative way to use the tools they possess?

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Nearly wrecked his rectum.

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I was unaware that Chuck Tingle and Tom Clancy had collaborated on a joint project.

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No need to bile on.

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Number two with a bullet?

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Welcome to Boingboing. You’ll fit right in.

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image

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There’s mortar this story than meets the eye.

Gives a whole new meaning to the experience of an explosive fart.

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O_O

In a world of 3D printing, I feel a safer alternative could have been found!

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Pounded In The Butt By My Unexploded WW2 Mortar

A cautionary tale about the dangers of unsafe sex.

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Typical. Another “responsible” bum owner.

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A literal “million to one shot, doc”.

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Slip and fall I’m sure…

Annaleigh Ashford Comedy GIF by CBS

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Thank you. And at the very least, I have a flared base.

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It’s only a matter of time before one of these annual “things we got stuck in our rectums this year” lists ends with :notes: “…and a partridge in a pear tree.”

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He tried to take the slang “drop the bomb” to a whole new level.

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Also: “I’m going to go destroy this bathroom now”

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