Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/12/26/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-r.html
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Christmas Carol cuts loose, crazy as a goose
It’s so insane what she does with a candy cane
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It’s not as important what we got stuck in our rectums for 2019, as what we can get unstuck from our rectums in the year 2020:
vote for your rectum’s health and safety, say no to Trump
Also: Rectum? Damn near killed em!! (Sorry, I had to, it’s stuck in my head and I’m too old to change it)
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I am both curious and thinking I don’t need to know.
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COAXIAL CABLE
Are we talking 50 ohm here? Article omits critical information.
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I must say that I respect the physician that takes as face value the patient’s story about just falling on top of the air freshener can. Sure, how it got there was probably not important for treatment, but some medical advisement after the fact could be on point.
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One of the all-time great Scrubs episodes.
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There’s a pretty big difference between noting the patient’s explanation of his present circumstance in the medical report and taking said story at face value.
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The hospital my wife works at has a wall of shame in the GI department for items that have been removed from the human body. Some of them from the stomach too. The board is well out of view of patients.
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Terminated or not is kinda important too… anyone might enjoy a bare, well-cut cable; but add a vampire tap and that’s a whole other can of worms.
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It’s the royal We.
Not to be confused with the royal wee, which will surely be the subject of a future post.
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De chelonian mobile.
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Oh gods, before reading the article I assume that the co-ax cable was butt stuff. It was actually dick stuff 
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like so often, the solution got the new problem. They tried to coax another object out of their guts.
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The light bulb story is real, as was the story of a mayo jar full of pencils. I knew the ER nurse. Still, it’s hard to beat the story of my cousin the weatherman who visited one ER, under a misspelled name, to have a hamster removed from his rectum, changed jobs and states, and then had to visit a different ER with another animal problem and lost another job.
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Well. That about sums up the end of the year. We really ended on a bottom note.
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I am all for insertion play if that’s your thing, but its almost 2020, we are awash in a plethora of toys of all shapes and sizes made for this stuff. You don’t need to use an improvised item. You can get fucked by a dragon dick. A. DRAGON. DICK!!! People are driving around with Bad Dragon stickers on the back of their SUVs!
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One of my favorite scenes from Aziz Ansari’s Master of None is when he is visiting his dad at his doctors office (played by his real dad.) Paraphrasing, it went like this.
Aziz: I really need to talk to you dad.
Nurse: Here are the x-rays for Mr. Smith.
Dr. Anzari: Oh yes, looks like an electric toothbrush in his rectum. We’ll have to get that out.
Nurse: I’m sorry, Dr. Anzari, this is Mrs. Smith. She insisted she talk to you about her husband.
Mrs. Smith: What is going on? Where is my husband? What is wrong with him.
Dr. Anzari: It appears he has an electric toothbrush in his rectum. How it got there, i do not know.
Mrs Smith: What? No, that can’t be.
Aziz: Well you can see it on the Xray there.
Mrs. Smith: I’m sorry, who is this? Is he supposed to be here?
Dr. Anzari: A lot of things are where they shouldn’t be today.
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You pushed way too hard 
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