Fucking yay, the Boston Globe.
Is that a major paper? I think I’ve only heard of it a couple of times.
The depressing thing is that this is exactly what lots of people want to see. Authoritarianism is making a comeback.
I prefer this counerfactual:
(Sorry I couldn’t find a better recording.)
I kinda wish I’d seen this in person at the corner spa before seeing it on boing boing.
(“Spa” is Boston slang for “bodega” or “mini-mart.”)
It’s pretty well-regarded among US newspapers, currently owned by the New York Times, and has won 23 Pulitzer Prizes in the last 40 years.
[edit: unfortunately the mock front page isn’t on the front page– it’s in the middle of the deluxe Sunday edition on the front of the editorials section, so you don’t see it as you walk by.]
The truth would be stranger than this fiction.
FIFY. 
Nicely done, Boston Globe. I only take exception to the editorial’s description of Paul Ryan as “an honorable and decent man.” Ryan should, too, as honour and decency are superfluous characteristics for the tycoons and leaders described by his philosophical idol, Ayn Rand.
I understand that the debased standards of the GOP have led to their making this reach for an alternative, but he’s just a slightly more personable and less Dominionist version of Cruz.
The Globe’s investigations into child sexual abuse by Catholic clergy won it one of those Pulitzer Prizes and formed the subject of the film Spotlight, which just won the Oscar for Best Picture. I no longer take a paper, but it’s a good one to read if you do.
Great.
Now let’s see one about the excesses sure to come if Mrs. Clinton wins.
They can just do a reprint of any Obama-era front page with her name search-and-replaced in. Ok, maybe they’ll swap in one article about her involving us in another land war in the Middle East. Otherwise, neoliberal globalist business as usual.
I’m no Trump supporter, but the editorial is calling for the disenfranchisement of 10 million+ primary voters.
If/when Trump goes independent, he will presumably take a vast chunk of those voters with him. The 2012 election was decided by only 5 million votes. The math only works for the GOP if they can see a path for a 3rd party independent candidate on the left to challenge the presumptive Democratic nominee.
The only thing worse than a Trump presidency would be a Cruz presidency.
Which is why I am so torn… I feel like Trump is less electable at the national level than Cruz, which is why I kinda want Trump to secure the nomination.
Blech.
The thing about Cruz is, nobody likes him in his own party either, on a strictly personal level-- he’s kind of a dick. The fact that the American public votes for personality so much of the time (one of the reasons Kerry and Dukakis and Mondale all lost), then Cruz will be doomed as well. While they might hold their noses and close their eyes and pull the party lever on election day, to win you have to appeal to more than just your own party.
Anyway, I am willing to wager a six-pack and a pizza that Trump will make a third party run if they give the nomination to Cruz.
It’s the subject of this year Oscar winner Spotlight. I would call that major. Only other US paper in the same category is the Washington Post as far as I am aware.
Not the old Gray Lady too (aka, the New York Times)?
The Boston Globe sucks, they support Mitt Romney and whatshisname.
I personally call on the GOP to nominate Stoopy McFartpants over Trump and then act surprised when it turns out he doesn’t exist.
All the President’s Men is the only other major Journou Film I am aware of? But then again not my specialist subject.
