Originally published at: Breakthrough in understanding whale language | Boing Boing
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If the researchers discover the whales have been talking about me I just don’t want to know about it, ok?
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I shall now assume all whale linguists look like Antonio Banderas, just as I assume all archeologists look like Harrison Ford and all FBI profilers look like Jodie Foster. I live in a world of sexy academics.
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First message decoded was:
“We’ve been trying to reach you about your expired boat warranty.”
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Sperm whales probably think it’s adorable when orcas attack yachts.
“Oh look, you got the rudder, good for you little fella. Of course my grandad sank an entire whaling ship once.”
I expect a lot of whale talk just consists of different species of whales talking smack about each other. And us.
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when they decode orcaspeak, you know it will go something like this:
“hey, y’all wanna go fuck up some boats?”
“yeah! let’s do it!”
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So are the whales traveling in pods or gangs?
I admit to curiosity about humpback language, since they are around here for a good chunk of the winter. “Would you guys kindly stop making the tourists crash their cars when they see you breaching? Thanks!”
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Well there’s always inner sexiness…
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And the last message was “So long, and thanks for all the fish”
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Oh man, things are gonna get ugly when the sperm whales find out what we’ve been calling them all this time.
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Or what right whales are right for. 
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Whales don’t speak Welsh?
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So once we get a translator working we’re going to apologize for … well, everything, right?
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I was thinking we’ll need a negotiator if they start with a message like “GTFO, or Team Orca is just the opening act. Nice cables you’ve got down there…”
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