Hiding secret messages in whale song

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/11/07/hiding-secret-messages-in-whal.html

But what happens when the whales start talking back?


the whales would hear them and be thinking, “…dafuk??”


The giant interstellar probe goes back to wherever it came from.

Beats me why it crossed thousands of light-years just for a short “hello.”


I always hide fake fingerprints in the whale song, because that’s really the last place you would look for them. if you find them there you aren’t going to think someone put them there on purpose and you’re going to think I’ve got him now, but they’re fake so you haven’t really got me at all, and then when they decode the fake fingerprints inside of the whale song it says ‘Jason Bourne was here’ and then they blame Jason Bourne for the crime that I used the fake fingerprints to misdirect them from blaming on me.

It’s a fool-poof scheme, really.


Can’t we just leave the whales and the crows alone, to live their own lives in the little corners we’ve left for them?


Whales need a little bit more space than that I’m afraid.



That would be in addition to the secret messages that the whales have already put in there.


Makes you think…

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lolno. You think whales can do convolution integrals? They’re barely able to do trig!

So basically speaking in tongues; but for submarines.

It definitely won’t freak the whales out even slightly that the strange sect of humans that forms ‘dive cult colonies’ tightly packed into perilous apparatus with vaguely cetacean underwater capabilities is now babbling what are clearly fragments of speech; but as something without a track of comprehension produces them.

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there aren’t that many whales left in the wild, few enough that researchers can recognise ‘their’ whales by sight and sound. introducing fake calls to that environment seems like a rapid way to alert a lot of people that something hinky is going on.


Did you hear that?..something about a yellow submarine… Anyway, here’s the sick squid I owe ya.


Hiding secret messages in Boing Boing posts about hiding secret messages in things.

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might work for awhile till the whales begin to use the same grammar

They have been, for decades, but no one is fucking listening.

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