British invader turned


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Congrats Rob :slight_smile:


Apple pie, I hope. It’s the Americanest of all baked goods.



The right line is where your complementary firearm will be provided. If you choose to waive this right, please stay to the left where you’ll receive your moral superiority card.


Using logic I’ve down to either you got free snacks or a drunk Biden. I really hope you got to hangout with a drunk Joe Biden.


No Joe Biden? No Carl Williams?



Was he providing his signature back massage services to all new citizens?



Are you really now ‘formerly British’, or dual nationality?

Was the test hard? Currently trying to drum up the enthusiasm to fill the form in and write the big cheque.


Dual nationality.

The test is done at an earlier date. There are 100 possible questions about U.S. civics and history. They give you a book containing all the questions and the answers when you arrange to do the test. Then, while you’re waiting to take the test, they have the questions and answers scrolling by on screens in the waiting room. Then 10 questions are chosen at random from the 100 and you have to get 6 out of 10.

Most of the questions are things like “Who was the first president of the US?” and “From what nation did the US win its independence?”

What’s funny is that while the game is obviously stacked in the player’s favor, it’s still theoretically possible to get nailed. Like maybe someone put in exactly 5 ludicrously difficult questions like “In what year did Woodrow Wilson die?” and “In what city was the treaty concluding the Spanish-American war signed?” and “Who is your U.S. Representative?” juuuust to fuck with that one unlucky person.


Wow, that’s a cool certificate. I am envious. I wonder if I can defect, and then re-defect back, just to obtain one.

Seriously, I’m made weirdly happy by this turn of events. Our nation is the richer for your presence and citizenship.

(Were donuts made available at every/any stage?)


I hope your answer was “Mine, sir. And I am so very, very sorry.”


“Well, it wasn’t the Navajo nation, was it, sport?”


Never donuts. Cookies. I had a donut burger yesterday, though, which I hazard amounts to signifiant preparatory Americaning.


I was gonna ask why, but the UK seems to be charging headlong into crazytown faster than the US these days.


Those were part of the test, just to make sure you didn’t enjoy them with tea.


She totally asked “Would you like some tea to go with that?”

She chuckled a little, and I chuckled too. “Haha, no, thank you. I’ll have some coffee, please,” I said.

Her chuckle had trailed off, but she hadn’t stopped smiling. She flipped the shiny black faucet on the tank and we listened wordless as the coffee poured in.

“That’s right,” she said quietly, the smile not quite reaching her eyes.


Ah, but what if two of the five paragraphs are true, including that one?


Congratulations, Rob. Since you’re not from around here, you may not know that there are better places than Pittsburgh. For example, anywhere else.


Did they instruct you to say George Washington? I often wonder how many of those questions and answers are factually incorrect.


Well blooming el.