Well that’s my point. And yeah, I already read that. She was passing as black to ostensibly help the black community, but the reaction from the black community, once they found out… was, uh, not positive.
So maybe not 
, per se, but some kinds of help can end up as punches when delivered the wrong way, especially when the help is coming from “above”, e.g. part of the existing power structure…
We seem to have the same idea then. I also say elsewhere that I believe that she would have been accepted for who she was based on her value to the community and the value she felt for it. Connections to people, to communities, are not built on lies.
The more I hear about her parents, the more I think this is about her fear of losing a supportive community.
It was me, as it’s my thread. I was totally wrong about that and will admit it.
See, I’m not such a terrible person after all.
I think this is my core problem. I understand that she’s committed to the cause, wants to help, and given what @DocMelonhead posted, wanted to completely divorce herself from her birth family (though she claims to be unsure about that). I don’t understand why she felt the need to co-opt a struggle that wasn’t hers. Why did she think she could claim that heritage, when (whatever her own struggles might have been in her life), it wasn’t hers? Not because she doesn’t care about her black family (adopted brothers and sisters, her black son), but because she didn’t grow up as a black woman…
Also for the trans people that have discussed it here, they talk about knowing they are male or female from a very early age, e.g. “I was born that way”.
I don’t get the impression that is the case with this woman.
Father-in-law? I find it pretty normal to refer to the in-laws as ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ although due to the language difference I don’t call my own in-laws ‘papa’ or ‘mama’!
If she adopted him, he is her son. Not biological son, or are you trying to challenge the whole legitimacy of adoption?
No matter what I think about this whole thing, I have no doubt her adopted son is her son.
That ‘knowing from an early age’ thing might simply be a way trans people tend to narrate and justify it, or a social convention about people’s gender identity. By everyday standards, being trans is a pretty extreme choice. “I am different” may seem like a weak justification compared to “I have always been different”. I’m not saying that trans people don’t honestly feel that the statement is true, I’m
When I was very small, I really wanted to be a girl. Not in a minor way either - I was delighted to learn that I had to be medically circumcised, because I thought they would cut my penis off. I’m sure that I was open enough about this to worry my parents at the time. I don’t feel like that anymore, though, and I’m reasonably happy with my penis. But I cannot honestly say that I have always felt male.
I won’t be able to type properly for a while, but saw this video and knew it had to be added to the conversation. The speaker is an African-American transwoman who is a transracial adoptee:
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