Thanks for reminding me of the very first Trader Joe’s product I ever bit into: A maggoty blueberry muffin.
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The passage of time can be a strange thing.
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They don’t cal it Trader Joe’s for nothing, ya know.
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It’s covered in ticks because the muffin is filled with blood.
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The maggot muffin was ~30 years ago. They have improved but have lost their guy-named-Joe-at-the-dock- doing-the-deal-cash-on-the-barrelhead shtick.
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That’s sick. Okay.
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Mmm - vampire muffins!
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I assume that people don’t typically swallow ticks; but it would be depressingly unsurprising if one, once swallowed, could survive long enough to complete an infectious feeding if it managed to grab hold of a handy bit of internal mucous membrane during a lull in peristalsis.
By way of reference here are some ticks that could probably beat up tardigrades for their lunch money; while unprotected in deep space.
Normally scanning electron microscopy is not an option for live specimen observation because it involves putting the sample in a vacuum chamber and bombarding it with an electron beam. In tick land; 30 minutes of hard vacuum and electron beam bombardment just fuels your seething rage.
A merely ■■■■■ environment, without even any radiation, is probably not a quick kill.
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OH man, that cupcake would turn your mouth to a ghastly black. My kid would love it.
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Our undead zombie cousins have their own version:
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What were you doing with a muffin down there?
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And the results of our study:
- No one can spot the ticks.
- We made $10 in muffin sales.
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You win the internets for today!
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Hey no kink shaming…
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I am so sorry for the amount I just laughed. May actually still be laughing.
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I dono, has anyone ever tried one? I mean if they were cooked? We might be missing out on a new form of cheap protein. they live a long time if the air temp is cool.
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The ticks were listed clearly as an ingredient; right under monosodiumglutamate.
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