Carter Page's rambling, incoherent House Intelligence Committee Testimony, condensed

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Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/11/09/whats-a-trump.html

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The really good stuff is posted up at Popehat:

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The entertainment value to the American tax payer is incomprehensible.

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It’s too long to read. I’ll wait for the Bad Lip Reading version.

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Hey, some people are just not good at public speaking, especially when they’re just improvising their lies.

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I was totally believing it for the first excerpt but by the third the hinkiness was starting to be evident.

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He’s a slippery rat, but if Mueller can get “Gazprom” Page to turn on the others he’ll make anything Manafort gives the Feds seem like peanuts.

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Do not repeat do not drink or eat anything while reading this:

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Dibs on movie rights, because those rights can’t be conferred because congressional testimony.

Edit…Even his letter responding to the committee is bonkers. Seriously, scroll to Page 4. But then maybe stop, because this shit goes on for 23 pages.

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missed an order of magnitude there…

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I OCRed the page testimony, but could not for the life of me find any reference to ius primae noctis :cry:

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You did a stout yeoman’s work for the commons there. A hearty blessing from the community to you!:+1:

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This is Kafkaesque… only in this case it’s the questioning authority who end up feeling baffled and helpless.

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So I thought at first, too, but no. Sludge’s talking about Carter Page’s letter, which indeed takes 23 pages on its own, and is indeed accurately described as “bonkers”. What the [BLEEP] is wrong with Page? :confused:

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Wow, yeah. Didn’t realize all of that was his letter. I’ve got a bad head cold and didn’t feel up to trying to parse it right now.

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I just read the introductory line of the testimony from the links Post article.

Could someone confirm this is real and not a parody? Am I missing something?

(This is not sarcasm, did he really say, “Hello. I am a doctor and a scholar, and I am here about the world premiere of the dodgy dossier that inexplicably made all kinds of charges against me, an innocent man who has never met anyone directly in my life!”)

ETA: Okay, it is indeed a joke, I think. This article genuinely makes me feel like I’m losing my mind.

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I had started to quote from the letter, and linked it instead after I felt my brain imploding.

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