Catharsis

Everything I’ve been through, I’ve finally admitted to myself I would have been better off without my spouse this past year, and it’s crushing me.

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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

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I still feel guilty leaving what was once a happy place for me. I check in from time to time, but with decreasing frequency. Once a day, then every few days, now once a week at best. I’ll never know if I’m missed or not. Seeing what this place has devolved into makes me sad. Maybe it’s a metaphor for larger national scene.

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(I assume this software logs IP addresses of posters. Anyone using this thread as Catharsis should probably keep that in mind.)

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See, this is why we can’t have any nice things.

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The whole place is dark

Every light on this side of the town
Suddenly
it all went down
Now we’ll all be brothers of
The fossil fire of the sun
Now we will all be sisters of
The fossil blood of the moon

Someone must have set 'em up
Now they’ll be working in the cold, grey rock
Now they’ll be working in the hot, mill steam
Now they’ll be working in the concrete
In the sirens and the silences now
All the great, set-up hearts
All at once, start to beat

After tonight, if you don’t want this to be
A secret out of the past
I will resurrect it
I’ll have a good go at it
I’ll streak his blood across my beak
Dust my feathers with his ash
Feel his ghost breathing down my back

I will try
And know whatever I try
I will be gone
but not forever

The real truth about it is
No one gets it right
The real truth about it is
We’re all supposed to try

There ain’t no end to the sands I been trying to cross
The real truth about it is
My kind of life’s no better off
If it’s got the map, or if it’s lost

We will try
And know whatever we try
We will be gone, but not forever
Come on, let’s try
And know whatever we try
We will be gone, but not forever

The real truth about it is
There ain’t no end to the desert I’ll cross
I’ve really known it all along
Mama, here comes midnight with the dead moon in its jaws
Must be the big star about to fall

Long, dark blues
The will-o’-the-wisp
Long, dark blues
The big star is falling
Long, dark blues
Through the static and distance
Long, dark blues
A farewell transmission
Long, dark blues
Listen…

…there are other worlds than these…

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For some there is no need to hide behind a second fake face.

Or even the delete key.

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uhm, I’m not hiding.

I let it out and deleted it. If you think that’s hiding, good for you! That sort of attitude is making this place what it is today!

Screaming into the Void is over that way.

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okay thanks, I’m good here. Hate to rain on anyones parade raining parade.

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I’m glad you found your way to the like button. Its good to let that out too! Really really good.

Because I’m pretty much over being discouraged by fellow community members who wonder what happened to their community that they discouraged. That’s my catharsis.

Forgive my saying, but it doesn’t seem you’ve gotten it all out.

never will, don’t think you will either. What a surprising standard to be held to. All. Wheres the nuance in all?

@catharsis, @AcerPlatanoides:

We all have concerns about the health of this community. Will fighting like this help fix it?

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Please, could I ask you to read the two sides of the conversation independently, and count the fighting words and who used them? Thank you. I’m making I statements and asking questions. That should be a start to determining who might prefer a fight, and it aint me. I am not fighting. Not even sure what I would be fighting for or against, other than maybe fewer fighting words/attitudes from those (not you Nightflyer) who would credit themselves as not part of the problem.

I am realizing as I write that I am still upset with @OtherMichael for not being able to drop it that day, and taking that to the point of personally insulting our host who was left with how many choices on who he lets use his stuff, at that point?

I am sick to death of people who escalate and then cry victim. Knock it off people!

I’ve read both sides, thank you. And still addressed that gif to both participants.

I’ve made my point, I’m not going to continue this.

Edited to add: Venting is good, and this is a dedicated place to vent. But to my eyes that was devolving into a pissing match, and IMHO this isn’t the thread for it. I can appreciate your use of I statements and your attempt to keep it more neutral. This is good. I’ll admit, my temper is acting up tonight; and I hate to see us sniping at each other. All that does is make the trolls happier.

So I’m gonna take a deep breath and take my own advice. Hugs to all!

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as a conversation, sure. I believe that implicitly. Try reading one users, and then the other, was my suggestion. It becomes a little more obvious who is speaking their peace in the thread for that, and who is commenting in not supportive ways, on the former.

I believe you did read it, what did you see? I know you saw something that led to your comment, and I value that, more so when I understand what you saw. You didn’t see me ‘getting mad’ you got an impression based on words I chose, right? That’s what I am asking about. Not the impression or what you think I should do about it - interesting and valid to be sure, but not what I am seeking from you. If you want your suggestion to land here, I am merely trying to lay out what I don’t see, that leads me to not agree with you. I’m not fighting, is my point.

I might well agree with you though, if you could say a little more I’d know a little more about where you are coming from, because I am a little distance from there, and asking you to help me clost the gap with you, because I don’t quite get what you mean. I’m not fighting for something, or against anyone. So, I guess I just don’t understand why you see a fight?

It would be very easy to respect that POV. And I’m not gonna be annoyed by it, I’ll be grateful. So much so that I am willing to ask twice, which I don’t do often do. I just don’t see it, and I didn’t catch your meaning the first and second time. I may well be responsible for that impression, but Id like to understand how. And I am all ears for someone who can avoid talking about "what I am doing"and stick to “when you did X, I thought/felt Y”.

There is a huge difference between “stop fighting” and “when you say X you come across as seeking conflict” or some such construction of your own invention that doesn’t express that your feelings are something I DO. I literally cannot and will not take any form of responsibility for peoples feelings, because that’s unpossible to do. I will gladly police my own behavior, when it is rationally discussed with me with a hint of accurate detail. Anytime.

I stand by my words, I might even take them back,

but I can’t stand by someone else’s interpretation of my words.

That would strike me as bad boundaries, letting someone tell me what I meant. That would be invalidating, and I will discourage such behavior, and do my best to encourage the other way.

(this too, is catharsis)

When I saw you and “Catharsis” continuing to banter back and forth, I perceived it as a pissing match. Nobody was backing down and I certainly didn’t think it was going to get better. And while I understand the need to vent, I consider this place to be a safe haven for it, at least in intention. Pissing matches have no place here. So I put my foot in it. I probably shouldn’t have. Like I said, us tearing each other new ones, politely spoken or not, only makes the trolls happier. I don’t want that either. So I vented. I tried to do it in a fairly friendly way, with a funny gif. Guess I missed the mark there too.

But I really have to go since I have to be at work too bleeping early tomorrow. Have a good night!

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I really wish I knew what words your eyes read, who said them, that led to such a conclusion.

When you say such a thing I jump to review my own behavior. I do.

It’s nice to see you see one of us being more neutral, because I saw that when I tried to say something about nobody in particular, and then deleted it, and got what I felt was a crap comment that was a bit demeaning, for that, from NO-ONE IN PARTICULAR and so I tried to not take any shit, while also not returning it.