Celebrity grave-digging, flesh-eating bacteria and alien abductions in this week’s dubious tabloids

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/07/24/celebrity-grave-digging-flesh.html

How long does it take to dig a hole six feet deep and eight feet long using just a fork?

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He’s like a bumble bee. Endangered.

Do you suppose the experts at the Enquirer would like to take a guess at how much Trump really weighs? That sounds like fun.

ETA I’m really not meaning to fat shame the gentleman. I’m a rotund fellow myself and there are sooooooo many more deserving things he can be shamed about. I’m just an inquiring mind.

Maybe the message was misunderstood. The world needs help because there are too many people on it. Lacking a Thanos to get rid of half the population, they’ve gone with a Trump, and now a Boris. The plan is on schedule.

Celebrity grave-digging

Sounds like good cardio workout.

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Is there a place where I can pre-emptively complain about these shitty tabloid posts just to get it out of the way before they show up? They’re terrible and off-brand enough to make me want to vent, but I hate to be offensive about it. Like… a town hall or something. I dunno. Whatever. Fuck these things.

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