She said she took full responsibility for it.
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Look, Iâm going to have to apologize in advance, as I have to drop this conversation - Iâm swamped with work, and I have to deal with a family emergencyâŚ
Quick points: It happened a few decades ago, in Canada. I donât remember the details, it might have been small claims court, it might have been exaggerated by my buddyâŚIâm not sure. In any case, my buddy WAS a champion karateka, it happened in/near a cinema lobby andâŚ$150 for a gi and belt!? Wha? Man, do you buy your uniforms at the Gap? No more than $100. But I digress.
This BB article was about 63-year-old Chrissy Hynde blaming herself for a rape that occurred when she was 21. I think that she is/was taking responsibility for some of the consequences she endured because of her actions. If you ask me, I say âGood for herâ (whether or not sheâs wrong), itâs empowering.
Iâve never quite understood the notion that a victim of assault always can and must be completely absolved of any responsibility for that assault. While there are many cases of complete innocence, in some instances, the victim can be an idiot, can have ignored all the signs of danger, all the advice of friends.
If, no matter what behaviour the victim exhibited, we must always find them completely faultless, then we also declare them to be little irresponsible children. That they canât make their own decision and bear the consequences of these decisions.
Again, my apologies, but I have to drop this conversation.
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She swallowed a bunch of Quaaludes and then went to hang out in a biker bar with the Hellâs Angels.
I think the lesson here is (1) the crime is solely the responsibility of the criminal and (2) there are things you can do, or stupid things you cannot do, to make yourself a whole lot less likely to be a victim. And if you do something stupid, youâre responsible for the stupid.
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If you quote selectively you can prove any point.
She also says âIf Iâm walking around and Iâm very modestly dressed and Iâm keeping to myself and someone attacks me, then Iâd say thatâs his fault.âBut if Iâm putting it about and being provocative, then you are enticing someone whoâs already unhinged â donât do that. Come on! Thatâs just common sense.â
Leaving aside the comment about dress, because there is plenty of scientific evidence that plays no role in sexual assaults, this is clearly a statement that you should not put yourself in a stupid place where you increase your likelihood of being a victim. It would be just as true about armed robbery as about rape, but would not have stirred up nearly the firestorm.
Men can wear whatever they want, with little fear of rape.
Men can drink as much as they want, with little fear of rape.
Men can party with whatever bikers they want, with little fear of rape.
Men can do as many Quaaludes as much as the want, with little fear of rape.
Women who try to act like men get called âstupid.â Repeatedly. Incessantly.
This is what double-standards look like - defended as âjust common sense.â
This is what rape culture looks like - resignation that since some men will never change all women should know better.
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Yes, because in armed robbery, the victim generally isnât blamed.
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âIâve never quite understood the notion that a victim of assault always can and must be completely absolved of any responsibility for that assaultâ
Totally. Rape victims really need to pull themselves up from their bootstraps. High-five!
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Well, you know⌠we walk around with those vaginas and boobs⌠how dare we.
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PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY!
Is what is required.
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Well, I think weâre done here, because you just selectively quoted the exact same thing I did, taking out the part where she says âWho elseâs fault can it be?â. So, Iâm pretty sure weâre just arguing past each other here. Yes, obviously sheâs also saying âHey, donât be stupid and put yourself into risky situationsâ⌠The problem is that the other part of what sheâs saying is âItâs your fault if you get rapedâ. Period. If she had left out that part, nobody would have a problem here.
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Donât want to be raped: donât leave your home, donât live alone, donât live with roommates, donât be around family members alone, donât go to school, donât go to work, donât wear tight pants, donât wear loose clothes, donât go to parties, donât walk alone, donât walk with only one person with you, donât walk at night, never jog, donât wear make up, donât wear pony tails, donât be a child, donât go to jail, donât be mentally ill⌠did I miss any?
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I sure hope you mean the general âyouâ, because that simply doesnât apply to me - and believe it or not, a lot of others out there.
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You missed âdonât be a womanâ.
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I didnât actually, I left it out on purpose, because as the MRAs like to scream at us, men get raped too. As do children. So I left out gender so as to avoid being called âsexistâ. 
But you are right, being a woman (born or otherwise) predisposes us to more sexual assault than not being born female. Obviously we need to evolve to a genderless species that mates asexually, like earth worms.
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I was actually going to add in âWell, I guess men get raped tooâ - but realized that it was a stupid thing to say, because duh.
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Iâm discussing the rationalizations required for someone to want to accept societyâs demands that they âtake responsibility forâ their own rape.
It is not the preferable end, but people get by however they feel they must 
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If you walk into a bad neighborhood alone, flashing a lot of cash around, yes, you should be blamed. And in fact you would be.
In neither case does that absolve the criminal of responsibility for their crime. But in both cases, the event was partially caused by something the victim did that was stupid. When you engage in risky behavior, you do have to bear some responsibility for the consequences.
What people are trying to do is cast this as a dichotomous choice: either the victim is blameless and the criminal is not, or the criminal is blameless and the victim is not. That is a bullshit straw man argument. As with any other social interaction, and crime is a social interaction, there is a continuum of contributing factors. Among them are the things you could have done to not be in that situation in the first place.
That point of view is what is advocated by some of these female writers:
This is what rape culture looks like
No it isnât.
In feminist theory, rape culture is a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality. (Wikipedia)
The fact that men generally donât get raped has nothing to do with rape being pervasive in a culture.
This is what living in a world not made of clones looks like, and it implies that every person has a responsibility to not engage in risky behavior. If a man downs a bunch of Quaaludes, staggers into a biker bar, and a Hellâs Angel beats the shit out of him, thatâs not rape but still he shouldnât have done that.
No, itâs the criminals fault for committing the crime. Rape is the fault of the rapist. Full stop.
Also, dude⌠Daily Fail there. Really? Not exactly a paper known for itâs objectivity and respect for women.
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