Where are you from, out of interest? As Beschizza’s English, for starters, and I’m not exactly sure the stories of ‘Libel Tourism’ bear out more stringent requirements for such a case here in Mud Island.
Yipes. Someone get agent @marilove to the extraction point, then nuke this comment thread from orbit…
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Well well. If I ever had a hard time understanding why women fear being taken seriously and sexual assault is under-reported, now I have a more visceral understanding.
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I suggest you check yourself before you wreck yourself and stop.
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That was an awful lot of handwaving and distraction from the basic problem here, which is turning a post about an alleged sexual assault on a woman into a thread about the victim’s allegedly inappropriate behavior, what her responsibilities are to her alleged attacker, and to false accusations against men and various other et cetera woe-the-poor-men nonsense.
It’s transparently chauvinistic and priggish, on a level I find almost sociopathic, no matter how much you ramble on and on about “life is complex” and “simplistic thinking” and “agendas” and what is and is not “valid” or “reasonable” to ask.
None of those things excuse why discussion of women being victimized always must be recentered around vanishingly rare but vaguely relevant edge cases where men can be seen to be the real, true victims.
It’s a hypocritical case of saying “Oh no, you can’t question her at all - she must be telling the 100% truth solely because she is a woman and she’s alleged a sexual crime”
No, it is not that. No-one is saying these words except you. They represent an abstraction in your mind, the mind of someone who insists that everyone else is thinking simplistically.
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From 2006 to 2010, 65% of rape or sexual assault victimizations were not reported to police. That’s 2 out of 3 people who, when faced with the actual horror, made a different choice than you.
At a rate of over 200,000 victims a year, we’re literally talking about millions of people. I don’t want to think that you are dismissing them just because they didn’t handle the situation the way you want them to.
source: Home | Bureau of Justice Statistics
Quoted from source:
A greater percentage of unreported rape or sexual assault (28%) and aggravated assault (22%) victimizations compared to any other type of criminal victimization were not reported because the victim was afraid of reprisal or getting the offender in trouble.
Everyone handles trauma differently, and everyone deserves some respect and deference for how they chose to deal with the shit life deals them.
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“Why can’t I judge her by the same standards to which I hold myself?”
You’re welcome to judge her, just as you’re welcome to judge any woman who alleges sexual assault in a manner not to your ethical satisfaction, and just as everyone else is welcome to judge you for having made such judgements your prerogative.
P.S. I’m not American. Assumptions are the worst enemy.
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Wouldn’t dream of arguing that it is. If someone murders or rapes because a demon told them to do it, they’ve still murdered or raped.
Posting this again:
because the thread is hyper-focused, outside of the things you mentioned, on the victim, with no discussion whatsoever about mental illness. Empathy for their suffering goes right out the fucking window.
Would it be too much to ask for people to have some goddamn decency, in this case, toward both the victim and the attacker? Because it sounds like the attacker is quite literally out of his mind.
Again, not to excuse his behavior, but isn’t there a bit of difference between some drunk-ass bros in Ohio, and a dude who is in the hospital strapped into a bed?
AU.
I don’t keep track of where everyone on every website is from.
I’m not a feminist and I’ve said as much.
There are certainly great virtues to feminism (as with any ideology) but I have enough issues with it that I’m not going to pledge my allegiance nor stop questioning the assumptions of its adherents. Asking questions, even if those questions seem stupid to the true believers, is the only way I can take on board any truth of an idea. If an idea has value then that should be demonstrable by more than a display of indignation for daring to question it.
If I ruin my reputation here by making remarks that others cannot countenance, then I accept the cost of that. If you aren’t willing to stand by your remarks then you are better off not making them.
If I get permabanned, then so be it. That is the decision of the editors here. BB is not a forum for free speech, it is a curated venue - your room, your rules.
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Man bad. Woman good. No space for anything but that binary. Got it.
Did he do it? Probably - but my point is that you (and others) simply don’t care either way. A woman has made an accusation and that is enough for you to assume guilt.
Guilty until ‘proven’ a rapist that escaped punishment, got it. Very reasonable, and clearly something I shouldn’t question.
If you are unwilling to stand up for yourself, then you cannot be surprised when you get stepped on. That it is hard is irrelevant to that fact (particularly in reference to the behaviour of predators. Predators love victims that keep their mouths shut).
All these statistics and complaints about lack of convictions yet no mention whatsoever of the victim’s refusal to testify. How are convictions supposed to happen if victims keep their mouths shut? How is sweeping it all under the carpet helping them or other victims of sexual assault?
It’s not ok to let rapists get away with it because it’s all too hard to pursue. I don’t accept that it is someone else’s problem to fix, I don’t accept other women getting raped because victims won’t act. Change has to start somewhere - so why doesn’t it start with person with the greatest ability and interest in affecting change: the victim?
If how people deal with a problem makes resolving the problem harder, then no, I don’t have to be respectful or deferential to that. Keeping your mouth shut as a victim of a predator doesn’t make you safer, it just makes you a bigger target. Letting them get away with it just puts others at danger and makes convictions that much harder. I don’t see why I should ignore that.
Where would you get that assumption from when I wrote nothing of the sort?
Poor women. God forbid they be expected to stand on their own two feet.
Every time they experience something bad (or in this case, horrible) let’s just wrap them up in cotton wool like the fragile little babies they are.
Ugh. Keep on keeping women down if that’s what you want - I think it’s crappy (and the truly unfortunate part is that you genuinely believe you are doing them a favour by giving preferential treatment that diminishes their agency and responsibility). You don’t believe that women are up to dealing with the challenges of life on their own, and I think that’s a shitty attitude to hold towards them.
He’s got a penis, so he’s automatically Satan to the guilty until proven rapist that escaped conviction crowd.
They don’t give a fuck that he’s in hospital having a full blown episode that probably made him non compos mentis at the time of the assault because that interferes with their assumed narrative of this situation (and their overall gender ideology).
Well, we’ve finally gotten to straight-up manchild ranting, now, so it’s time for a break.
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Well, I wasn’t even going there with it; the thing that bothers me is that there’s already nearly zero empathy for people with mental illness in America. If we had some goddamned empathy and understanding, maybe it wouldn’t have to get to the point where someone’s looking to Twitter to get help with dealing with the repercussions of the mentally ill person going off and doing something terrible…
I could be wrong, but for me personally, the reason I have a negative reaction to a Twitter callout is because this kind of crap happens all the time in callout culture. (Funny, at least to me, aside: the only “Tamisha” I know is one of the whitest people I know, a short little blonde gal.)
Maybe the victim wasn’t intending for a vigilante attack on her attacker, but that’s what ends up happening. Do we really–I mean, do we really–want for people to turn to vigilante justice, and take every Twitter claim as gospel? I’d hope not. Do we really want people to exact vigilante justice on a guy who, on the day of the attack, was hospitalized and strapped to a bed? Maybe he’s a shitty person when his disorder is under control, but that’s not right now.
And personally, that’s most of my interaction on this: remember, everyone, just because someone said something bad happened to them, doesn’t mean you have to get involved.
I disagree. For one thing, she opens herself to a libel lawsuit.
This is manifestly untrue, and if you’re really trying to get away from the massive “but false accusations!” derail that’s been going on here it behooves you not to spread false information yourself, or even engage the subtopic at all.
I said that civil law was an appropriate response to a false accusation in the very paragraph you quoted! So perhaps it “behooves” you to read the joke before compulsively replying to the setup with the same obvious punchline.
Also to be behooved is the difference between a) his right to civil remedy and/or expectation of prosecution and b) the intimation of prior restraint implicit in what I was replying to, which was the suggestion that one has no entitlement to accuse someone of a crime except to the police.
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