Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/10/15/climate-change-will-make-beer.html
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You monsters
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Meh. We’ll just drink contaminated mud-water while watching rat fights. Same diff.
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Great news! Extreme weather, ocean acidification, mass extinctions, rising sea level, melting permafrost and consequent mass release of methane, melting glaciers and icecaps… none of these things can stir people to action the way an increase in the price of beer can.
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Suddenly, the Supreme Court began to issue a stream of pro-environmental rulings. Writing for the majority, Justice Kavanaugh said, “I don’t give a shit about tufted nuthatches or groundwater contamination, but I do like beer.”
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Beer is liquid bread, total fat bomb. Move over to Whiskey!
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Great news! Wine production will get better.
In some very narrow slice of the world where I happen to live. So, yes, this climate change thing sounds great to me. Bring it on.
/s
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I live in SW Ontario, Canada where we recently elected our Canadian knock-off of Trump - Rob Ford - to our provincial offices. He campaigned on a promise of “buck-a-beer” - in Canadian lingo this means he would make beer available at $1CAD per can or per bottle.
Naturally that promise hasn’t been fulfilled, but that’s not interesting or surprising. What’s interesting is that he’s also rolling back any legislation that might’ve seen Canada do anything about climate change (hint: we’re one of the worst because of our tar sands).
The leaders in Easter Island did the same thing. The French monarchs are famous for having said “let them eat cake” when large segments of the population were starving in the streets. Orwell’s ministry of information told their proletariat that rations had been increased year over year, when in fact production of various commodities had fallen. Apparently beer in the twenty first century is no different.
Vote for me and we’ll all drink beer for a buck. Even while climate change increases the price on barley - the primary ingredient in beer. This is the last contradictory promise of a desperate elite: I’ll make nature’s resources affordable to everyone, even while we enact policies to destroy those self-same resources. Just put the power (and consequently the wealth) in my hands, and don’t think about the consequences.
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I believe three floyds has already factored this in to their pricing
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This year will be the best ever for the Dutch wine makers, an industry that basically didn’t exist 30 years ago. The wine growing limit was somewhere in Belgium when I was born, and somewhere in northern France in medieval times.
So while we ruin the planet, at least we’ll be shitfaced during much of it.
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Cat’s got 9 lives.
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Too bad the headline wasn’t “Climate change will make Diet Coke more expensive and will cause Fox & Friends to go off the air.” The problem would be solved by sundown.
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Looks like I’ll be going back to vodka, since that shit can be brewed out of anything.
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Beer can be brewed from rice. Now, if you said climate change would affect hop production, then, yeah, we have a problem.
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FTFY
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I’ve noticed that when the public good is being eroded, it’s a purely business decision. Nothing to be done, you arrived too late for the comment period… yadda yadda. But when the goal is to build on the public good, suddenly it’s, “must not be too hasty”, and “let’s hear from everyone” and “democratic procedures must be followed to a fault”… the net result is like a ratchet, funneling resources and power toward the center, pushing more people toward the periphery.
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another thing 1984 got right - rampant gin drinking
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weed has no carbs, but the 40 pizza rolls i ate afterwards did.
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
But I like beer!!!
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