That's why I don't lick envelopes.
That and I don't like the taste.
You have to expect some corruption in an organization founded to promote the protection of extortion rackets throughout the world.
The letters were sent in physical envelopes?
Come on, admit it. If you wielded absolute power over a platoon of lackeys, wouldn't you rule over them with a capricious iron fist? You know you would.
We aren't "Corrupt", we're just focused on serving our real customers whether our ostensible customers like it or not...
INVISIBLE HAND, missy!
Fuck, yeah. All day.
Assuming the DNA evidence on the letters belonged to the author, and wasn't somebody else's DNA which the author planted there to direct suspicion away from themselves.
People still use envelopes that need to get wetted?
Back in 1502, when Malleus Maleficarum was still in print, people understood that you need to collect and burn any DNA-carrying items your body might shed. After all, you wouldn't want a witch to get hold of your toenail clippings, hair from your hairbrush, spit from an envelope, etc.; the part carries a link to the whole, so you could get cursed. And if Bell's Theorem is correct, you could get cursed at the quantum level! That would certainly be very bad. You know, we should probably burn WIPO Director General Francis Gurry at the stake, just to be on the safe side.
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