Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/04/30/condoms-sales-are-down-because.html
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“global condom shortage”
Buried the lede there didn’t you Mark? I mean nine months hence the story will be about the plethora of new Cory’s and Corinna’s joining us.
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People sex really is the best sex. For this person, anyway.
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the pandemic is affecting people’s sex lives
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You’re saying there’s a reservoir of prophylactics so we don’t have to roll some stretching of supply?
This story is ripe for punny ribbings…
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I’m down to one hour/week cemetery dates. Better than nothing, I guess. And we have Snapchat and stuff. Absence makes the heart grow fonder?
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Rubber always bounces back.
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I’ll have to take your word for that. (No judgement.) 
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I wonder how many affairs will have been put on hold during all of this. I’m sure they’ll be back to ripping each other’s clothes off within about 30 seconds of the lockdowns ending!
What’s a cemetery date?
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If you stretch my love till it’s thin enough to tear
I’ll just stretch my arms to reach you anywhere
Is Ashley Madison still a thing? If so, I expect they would be the ones with the most data. If not, the world may never know.
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People who use condoms are having less sex. There’s lots of people that doesn’t apply to though. Casual sex is down for sure. I’d bet there are some relationships where the sex is way up now because there’s time. It’ll be really interesting to see what happens to birth rates over the next 12 months.
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Hm. Sex toys on 10 foot poles?
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I’d been reading that the stress of the pandemic and our “uncertain times” is tanking a lot of libidos.
“There’s an app for that!”
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I’m sure Bad Dragon has that covered already.
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Great, now I’m going to be reading an undertone of urgent horniness into everything politicians say about “reopening the country” if you understand my Shakespearean reference.
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Aye; the concept of ‘fucking like rabbits’ has far less appeal when one is cooped up in close quarters with one’s S.O. for long lengths of time. Even the most compatible couples tend to grate on one another’s nerves after a while.
This isn’t a cool situation for anyone, right now; single or ‘coupled up.’
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I have just looked up polearms on Wikipedia to come up with an amusing portmanteau word in the vein of fleshlight to describe a halberd with a dildo on it, but it was beyond me. Other BBS wags may fare better.
(although the Bohemian Ear Spoon is amusing in its own right, I suppose)
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