i blame the parents for letting it go this far. They’ve clearly not laid down any ground rules and not stuck to their guns. You can tell by the fact that they are still offering to help him out, despite being at their “wits end”.
There are so many screwed up people around now because their parents didn’t know how to raise a child. There’s no need to be an a-hole to them, but you’re not supposed to be their best friend either. That’s how psychological problems start
I still live "at home"1).
My parents moved out2) 28 years ago.
1) I know, I know - everybody lives at home. You know what I mean.
2) I was almost done getting my degree and had already been working for a couple of years at the time when it became clear that my parents would move away within a year or two. At the time I didn’t think I’d stay this long, but life is what happens while you make other plans.
That was day two of the giveaway, the good stuff (stereo, television, exercise equipment) was already gone by the time I decided to stop and get a picture.
But maybe he was just glad to be clear of it and didn’t care, and maybe it made him happy to make his ex angry. If that scene represents the visible 1% of the iceberg that sank their marriage, the 99% below the surface must have been extensive and ugly indeed.
I just read the article on CNN…and this caught my eye:
Some advice:
- Organize the things you need for work and to manage an apartment. Note: You will need stuff at (redacted). You must arrange the date and time through your Father so he can set it up with the tenant.
- Sell the other things you have that have any significant value, (e.g. stereo, some tools etc.). This is especially true for any weapons you may have. You need the money and will have no place for the stuff.
- There are jobs available even for those with a poor work history like you. Get one - you have to work!
- If you want help finding a place your Mother has offered to help you.
So…uh…you KNOW this cat has “weapons”. And you are going to release him unto the world regardless?!
This applies to taking people in while they get back on their feet. 3 out of 4 times that my friends have done this, the person overstayed their welcome and were angry at being told to leave. I had to throw my 50 year old step brother out of my father’s house after he lived there rent free for years.
I was going to say the same thing. There have been a number of similar court cases in Italy over the years. In some cases the judges have ruled in favor of the grown children.
I moved back in with my folks after I finished university because I pretty much had no better choice.
I paid a tiny amount of rent, and still got food cooked for me.
Then, after I’d managed to get a job and started to work out what the fuck I wanted from life, I moved to a different city and have rented my own place* ever since.
If I’d not had the opportunity to move back in with my folks I don’t know what I’d have done, there wasn’t enough work in my university town, and I had no idea of what job I might be able to do anyway.
My youngest brother did similar, and even after he moved out would still end up there for a few months between jobs. Now he still lives close, although in a house he partially owns with his wife.
At the back of my mind, I still know that if I lost everything, I could still count on my folks to give me somewhere to live, although these days it would involve a lot more of me caring for them.
'* well, I’ve rented in shared houses, I can’t afford a place on my own, I’m only 38 ffs.
After watching the video, I’m envisioning a lot of throwing stars, nunchucks, and swords.
Bat’leth all the way.
I am reminded of this passage from John Brunner’s The Shockwave Rider (1975). (No offense intended; I am not suggesting this applies to you.)
By 2010, in the wealthiest countries, a classic category of mental patient was composed of boys and girls in their late teens who had come back for a first vacation from college to discover that “home” was unrecognizable, either because the parents had moved into a new framework, changed jobs and cities, or simply because — as they’d done a dozen times before — they had refurnished and redecorated . . . without realizing they were opening a door to what came to be termed the “final straw syndrome.”
http://83.133.184.251/virensimulation.org/lib/pdf/The%20Shockwave%20Rider.pdf
I know what you mean; my mom bought her house after I’d moved away to college, so even though I lived with her briefly between college and undergrad, it’s not “home” to me - it’s my mom’s house.
I do find this a bit odd an many levels.
Thing is, i really want to move out, it just isn’t even remotely financially viable without me dropping to the extreme poverty line.
As such, my mother has practically ordered me to stay home 
Ie. I earn ~900 pcm, rent alone would cost me ~£800pcm for the cheapest studio flat, and if i have to share with others, why not just stay with the family and pay into a family pot rather than finance a Buy-To-Let social leech with rent for effectively the same thing?
My ‘rent’ pays for family holidays now.
My only real solution is moving to a cheaper country, and that involves securing a new job first… Even if i managed it, it’d likely imperil my mother’s financial situation…
I’m stuck >.<
Aaannnddd…he’s outa here!
Staying where you’re wanted and contributing to the family is miles away from what this guy is doing. If you all decide to live together by choice - it’s just like any other living arrangement.
How much of it is choice though?
I’ll willingly contribute to the current status, if voluntary, But do i have any choice in the matter?
Kinda poisons any donations if they’re effectively forced… I’d still make them, but at that point they’re not donations in any form…
I didn’t mean donations - you can’t live anywhere for free as an adult.
Haha, fortunately I have not yet been committed. Though if I ever am, I don’t think my parents movements would have much bearing.
In fact,
That was my initial reaction, but from what I can tell, kicking him out is probably the best thing they could do for him right now. Maybe it would have been better if it came to this 5 or 10 years ago, still the best thing they can do for him right now.
Some of the potential solutions suggested here are clever. I enjoyed them. Unfortunately, the parents are obviously NOT clever enough to think of them, nor do they have the backbone to implement them. Gee, I wonder how the grandkid will do?
You are assuming the manchild will find someone that will willingly share his genetic material with them.
